Healing...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MichelleLynnFl, Aug 14, 2017.

  1. I received a call from my daughter about a week ago and since I have her number blocked it went right to voicemail. Don't think she thought I was serious that I blocked her because I think while she was waiting for me to say Hello she was talking with someone which my voicemail caught. She said that she did not have any money, when I dropped her off she had a little over $200., and said no thanks she was alright. Interested I messaged her on FB messenger...

    I asked why she called? She said oh nothing just to chat.... Uh huh...sure.

    I stood my ground and acted neutral towards her. Said she had 3 job interviews lined up and that it was hard. Asked her why she was holding hands in our car a few days back with this girl of hers? My husband and I accepted she is gay but, we wanted no public displays of affection as she always throws her being gay, gay rights, into our faces. We were taking her the last of her clothes and her computer and let this girl from the shelter ride with us as she needed to go to the college too. My daughter told me in no certain terms that she can do as she wants...understand? That if I had a problem with it that day I should of said something and does not want to hear about her business later. That was the final straw! She was so nice up to that point then flipped just like that. Said I needed to get over it. Told her no, you disrespected us in our car doing something to help YOU. I remember back in my day if your parents helped you, respect for their wishes was given. Told her that I feel she was calling for money, per the conversation with someone on my voicemail, that she will not be getting anymore money from us.

    So after telling her that we are planning Christmas and Busch Gardens, that we are just fine without her, she called me childish and blocked me and my husband from Facebook and Messenger.

    You know?? I could not be happier. Feel free of so much stress and worry.

    I am healing just fine and my burnt arm is too. :)
     
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  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Good for you ML. I have been blocked com my sons social media sites since he was 15. Used to bother me. He has me blocked in his phone also. I don't care I don't initiate contact and when he does it quickly digresses into a poop show of fear blame and guilt. I find I am more resilient than I thought I was.

    I am glad your burn is healing. Be good to yourself. Disrespect seams to come with the territory.
     
  3. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I'm glad your arm is better, ML. I too have been blocked and/or deleted many times from FB. It eventually blows over. In the meantime I'm glad you and hubs are enjoying the relative peace and quiet. If she is being truthful about the job interviews, that's a good step.
     
  4. Thank you so very much. She has blocked me before and I have too. Back and forth. This time is so much different as she showed me how down and dirty she can get when she wants too. It's more important to keep our sanity, kept out of jail if we said or did something even in the slightest bit wrong, to have peace. Oh peace is such a beautiful thing, :)

    I don't mean to sound heartless, I love her till I die. It's just time we parted ways.
     
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  5. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member

    My son, who I post frequently about on this forum,...when he was in an especially bad spot years ago (around age 21?), i got him to our family clinic for anti-depressants or whatever the dr. thought might be good. As Difficult Child and I were in the tiny waiting room, Difficult Child kept sticking his tongue out, over and over again.... so i would see his new tongue piercing. I chose to ignore it. Although it grossed me out, I was most bothered because I knew he was in such bad shape when he got it.

    That was the last time I ever saw that tongue ring (or whatever it is called). Looking back, I do not think that piercing had anything to do with his dad and me. Showing it to me 100X in the doctor's office was most likely a message to us. It really did not matter because Difficult Child was in such bad shape at that time.

    I am telling you this, knowing these are two different circumstances, but with the idea that it may have just been a message your daughter wanted to send at that moment. In her mixed up feelings, she felt strength in showing you that she did not care; she was calling the shots for her life.

    In another month, she might not want to express that in the same way at all. These offspring of ours have so much going on in their heads, it seems to be all over the place with their behaviors and stances they take.

    Hang in there.

    SS

    P.S. When I blocked our Difficult Child on my cell, he sent a hateful email asking how a Christian could block their own child. o_O
     
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  6. I totally agree with you Seeking. Felt with every fiber of my being that in all ways she was showing me that this is going to be her way, which is fine, it's her life.

    When my husband and I picked her up this last day I saw her she was a changed girl. Instead of the black she always wore around our house, she had on skin tight black leggings, white shirt, black hat, flip flops, and two chains around her neck. Totally in line with the people she is hanging around with. Instead of Mommy and Daddy she calls us Mom and Dad. It's just my last straw and don't really want any further relationship with her unless she truly changed. My daughter thinks by behaving for two-three days earns trust back. Going to take much longer than that.