Health issues affecting difficult child 1's school performance...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    due to his Crohn's disease. He was home sick because of abdominal cramping and the big D Thursday and Friday. We think it was set off by eating too much pineapple over the course of a couple weeks. The weekend seemed o.k. and he was careful about what he ate... except for Sunday evening. He confessed to having eaten some blackberries and woke up in pain that increased throughout the day, but wasn't bad enough to stay home (level 4 out of 10).

    His GI has ordered him on a liquid diet for 24hours. If he's not feeling better by lunchtime, we'll have to drive up to L.A. for a CT scan (he's got known scar tissue at the end of the small intestine that nearly obstructed once before -- he was actually scheduled for surgery last year, but had improved so much that we postponed it indefinitely).

    My anxiety is doubled by the fact that his grades tanked in March, and I'm thinking it was a combination of his anxiety over his dad's brain surgery in mid-Feb., and now I'm wondering if his own health played into it? The quarter ends Friday, and this was just a lousy time for him to get sick (like it's ever convenient?)

    I've emailed all his teachers and his counselor and I are playing phone tag.

    I guess I may have to just chalk this quarter up as a loss, but I'm not happy about this.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is he in middle school? I hate to be unsympathetic about bad grades, but if he's not in high school, these grades really don't count for anything. What really matters is his health. Does he have an IEP that provides for accommodations at times of illness?
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He is in middle school... and yes, I need to remember that these grades don't go on his permanent transcript! Of course, I am concerned about his health and I hope I didn't come off as too cavalier about that.

    He doesn't have an IEP, but he has something they called a Health Plan that I created and the school pretty much just stapled to the back of his 504 plan. The Health Plan spells out what potential accommdations he would need in the event of a disease flare up.

    Part of the problem here, I think, is that he doesn't come forward when he's struggling. He's not good about expressing his feelings, and I was so overwhelmed with husband issues and difficult child 2 issues the past few months, I could not pay as close attention to HIS issues. So here we are. And although I let all his teachers and counselor know about husband's surgery, I didn't bother them with the minutia (to them, but chaos to us) of difficult child 2's problems over the past few months that affected MY level of parenting. So what do I do now that things have fallen apart for difficult child 1?

    Maybe I just need to let go of this right now and not worry about having to "fix" everything. Really, the most important thing IS difficult child 1's health.

    I'm going to call the counselor back this morning and just lay out the situation and whatever happens, happens.
  4. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I woulld think that they would be able to accept missing/late asignments from him with all that has gone on but if he hasn't missed book knowledge that he needs to build on, I would probably just let it go as well. In our school they would let him come in for tutoring after class to catch up as harm in asking.
  5. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    My sister has colitis, since late twenties. I know how she's struggled as an adult, sorry that your difficult child goes through this. I give to the Crohn's/Colitis foundation here, and hope that they can develop a cure. Hope this flare up is a short one and he levels out soon.

    I would hope the school will give makeup assignments and/or tests so that he can keep up and not fall too far behind.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    HoC -- three of his teachers have replied back and are understanding, for the most part. One let me know directly that he hasn't been getting stuff done in class lately. I let everyone know who's replied so far that he's really been struggling with his anxiety lately and when you've got a kid with ADHD AND a chronic illness, he just can't concentrate on anything important.

    The quarter ends on Friday, and I'm afraid his marks will probably be in the toilet for most of his classes. That's life, I guess.

    I probably won't hear from his counselor today -- we just got a message from the principal that a young science teacher passed away last night rather unexpectedly, so they are trying to deal with that on a campus-wide basis.

    'Chelle, thank you so much for giving to CCFC (it's CCFA here). Every penny counts in supporting research for these diseases. I just went to a patient/family conference in L.A. and learned there is a lot of overlap with other autoimmune diseases, so the research that is done for Rheumetoid Arthritis, Juvenile Diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis, and even Psoriasis can help people with Crohn's and even Ulcerative Colitis (and vice versa).

    We met an 11yo who lost her colon last year to UC. She had three surgeries and now has a j-pouch, and it's probably saved her life. But it would be great if someday kids with UC don't have to give up their colon in order to have good quality of life.