Heard from difficult child

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Sep 25, 2012.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    Well I have been checking FB and seeing that difficult child is posting every night about 1am his time.... so at least I know he is still alive. I have sent him a couple of messages and in the last one I wondered why he didnt call my friend for help. This morning difficult child finally private messaged me back.... and he said "living on the streets is easier than conforming to the rules of recovery" both are Sh*** options. He said some other stuff too. Kind of depressing on one hand because he is obviously in such pain and sounds like he is giving up.....but it felt honest, not manipulative and he wasnt asking me for anything. So that is where we are. I tried to just write a loving caring response.

  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh my TL,

    Your son sure has been on my mind and in my prayers alot lately.
    I so hope he gets tired of "living on the streets" and wants recovery one of these days.

    I'm glad you can check up on him on FB.
    Thinking of you and son this morning.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Heartbreaking TL. The sad thing is I think a lot of our difficult child's feel that way. We wonder how they can give up the comforts of their home for being homeless and your son just explained how. I'm sorry he is feeling this way and also glad you heard from him.

    I too hope that someday he turns that thinking around.

  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I am so sorry. It is just so beyond frustrating. Why?? We all must conform to the rules - that is life. Why live it in discomfort?? (((HUGS)))
  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I know that hearing from him was not the "sigh of relief" that you needed.

    I am so sorry that he is so STUCK in "not recovering".

    My H would tell me (you): be glad you heard from him and that it means SOMETHING that he called and that at least you know he is OK.

    I know the look I give him when he says it to me - so I am sure you are rolling your eyes at what I just typed. But; I say to you:

    He's OK (for now), he reached out and that does mean SOMETHING.

    You are very strong and a d@mn good mom for reaching back with loving words. Stay strong {{{hugs}}}
  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I often think that if I were homeless or hopeless, the last thing I'd be thinking about is posting on FB. Maybe it's just me, because I know our kids really grew up with the internet and it's a part of their identity. I guess the only thing I can relate this to, is if I were in his position, but I used the telephone to call friends, etc. every evening.

    It just says to me that he's still looking to connect, but he's just not ready to make changes. The fact that he's not really asking for anything or manipulating you is startling, I think. He wants understanding for who he is right now, for the core person he is, but on some level he knows he's really messed up. You are showing him love, hope, encouragement and caring - I pray he'll stop being so cruel to himself.