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Substance Abuse
Heart is heavy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 754494" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Good morning.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for all this. There is really no way to analyze what is going on. We don't know. And how could you change things if you did know? Addicts can and do often do their worst living at home. There is no way to monitor them all the time. If we try, they just leave. Your son is an addict. Unless he stops drinking period, he is not quite doing his best. I personally think it's best not to send our AC cash. But you did and it was up to him what he did with that cash. I doubt if he got high because you sent it. He was probably drinking and drugging all along. They find ways, legal or illegal, to afford to use. This includes alcoholics. If your son lived closer or even with you you could not stop him using nor save his life. We have the fantasy that we will walk in on them just at the right time. But in fact these adult kids use even if they live with us and we think they aren't. This is not your responsibility. It can't be. You can't do it for him. </p><p></p><p>I have a good friend whose son is a severe addict. My friend was too until his 30s and he has been sober thirty years now. His son lives on the opposite side of the country on the street. He ended up in the hospital recently due to drugging. He was in an induced coma with a tube down his throat. The man flew out and was there when his son became conscious.</p><p></p><p>His son was not grateful to see him and this brush with death did not change him. Rather than trying to get clean, he went back out on the streets and eventually a homeless shelter where he may still be. He calls his father from time to time and never mentions the time in the hospital or getting clean. These addicts sadly take life in a light way. </p><p></p><p>My friend has done nothing else to try to fix his son and says that only after his parents died did he realize he needed to quit. He was on his own then. No longer being enabled. He regrets now that his parents never saw him get clean.</p><p></p><p>I do feel your intense pain and I am sorry your son puts you through all this I suggest Al Anon. You would learn there to let go with love and to honor and care for yourself. I believe that this is all we can do. And pray a whole lot if we pray.</p><p></p><p>God bless and let Him maybe care for you and your son. Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 754494, member: 23706"] Good morning. I am sorry for all this. There is really no way to analyze what is going on. We don't know. And how could you change things if you did know? Addicts can and do often do their worst living at home. There is no way to monitor them all the time. If we try, they just leave. Your son is an addict. Unless he stops drinking period, he is not quite doing his best. I personally think it's best not to send our AC cash. But you did and it was up to him what he did with that cash. I doubt if he got high because you sent it. He was probably drinking and drugging all along. They find ways, legal or illegal, to afford to use. This includes alcoholics. If your son lived closer or even with you you could not stop him using nor save his life. We have the fantasy that we will walk in on them just at the right time. But in fact these adult kids use even if they live with us and we think they aren't. This is not your responsibility. It can't be. You can't do it for him. I have a good friend whose son is a severe addict. My friend was too until his 30s and he has been sober thirty years now. His son lives on the opposite side of the country on the street. He ended up in the hospital recently due to drugging. He was in an induced coma with a tube down his throat. The man flew out and was there when his son became conscious. His son was not grateful to see him and this brush with death did not change him. Rather than trying to get clean, he went back out on the streets and eventually a homeless shelter where he may still be. He calls his father from time to time and never mentions the time in the hospital or getting clean. These addicts sadly take life in a light way. My friend has done nothing else to try to fix his son and says that only after his parents died did he realize he needed to quit. He was on his own then. No longer being enabled. He regrets now that his parents never saw him get clean. I do feel your intense pain and I am sorry your son puts you through all this I suggest Al Anon. You would learn there to let go with love and to honor and care for yourself. I believe that this is all we can do. And pray a whole lot if we pray. God bless and let Him maybe care for you and your son. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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