I HATE having PTSD. I feel like such a weenie esp when it kicks up sort of out of the blue. The stress of dealing with my mom sometimes makes me more prone to it. The worst of it comes from things that happened with my gfgbro. I was dozing off and on while I listened to a show online. Suddenly there was a part in whatever it was that really sounded like gfgbro's voice. It said crazy stuff about bring all the cops, everyone the govt has because the guy was boycotting the government because of all the people in the govt agencies that were out to get him. I sat bolt upright, with my heart pounding away, trying to get my breath. I just can't take this anymore. I do therapy. I think I have a handle on things. Then more conflama comes from my mom or bro and I just start losing it again. I have fought this carp for over ten years. I don't want to fight it anymore. I just want it GONE. Thanks for understanding. And for letting me vent. And for being patient when I am a weenie-head.