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heartbroken over son's worsening state
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<blockquote data-quote="karisma" data-source="post: 689146" data-attributes="member: 20391"><p>I am new here and not too sure how to post. I have been reading all these threads for weeks and it has provided much comfort just knowing there are others.</p><p>My son is 26. He was diagnosed bipolar at age 3 so I have been going through this with him his entire life. I didn't think he would live to be an adult. His behavior was extremely severe.</p><p>He is homeless. He rarely showers. He talks to himself a lot but is capable of having a lucid conversation. He quit taking medications at age 18 and truly belives he is not mentally ill. There is no amount of talking that will change this.</p><p>He is also by far my favorite person in the world. The light and joy of my life.</p><p>He basically gets worse and worse as time goes by. He is not a danger to self or others in the immediate sense. He is peaceful and loving. He retreats more and more into his own world. He is a truly brilliant man where math and science concerned. He keeps his head up and tries his best to survive every day. He could get so much help but he refuses all help. Even housing and its so hot here.</p><p>Right now in this moment he is in jail for not appearing in court on a trespass ticket. It's the first time he did more than one night. It's been ten days. I am doing a video visit tomorrow.</p><p>I love and accept my son for who he is. Every moment I spend with him is gold to me. Watching him suffer is absolutely killing me. I've been depressed about him his whole life but lately it's a whole new level. I'm so devastated that it takes all I have to fight back tears and I often burst out sobbing in public. I quit my job because I am too depressed to work. I think I finally saw the reality of his future and I finally let go of hope that had been sustaining me for years. Its not realistic that he will get better at least not unless he does something to cause a court to order him on medication. But he keeps it together in public enough that will probably not happen. </p><p>I literally think about him every second of every day.</p><p>I am heartbroken</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="karisma, post: 689146, member: 20391"] I am new here and not too sure how to post. I have been reading all these threads for weeks and it has provided much comfort just knowing there are others. My son is 26. He was diagnosed bipolar at age 3 so I have been going through this with him his entire life. I didn't think he would live to be an adult. His behavior was extremely severe. He is homeless. He rarely showers. He talks to himself a lot but is capable of having a lucid conversation. He quit taking medications at age 18 and truly belives he is not mentally ill. There is no amount of talking that will change this. He is also by far my favorite person in the world. The light and joy of my life. He basically gets worse and worse as time goes by. He is not a danger to self or others in the immediate sense. He is peaceful and loving. He retreats more and more into his own world. He is a truly brilliant man where math and science concerned. He keeps his head up and tries his best to survive every day. He could get so much help but he refuses all help. Even housing and its so hot here. Right now in this moment he is in jail for not appearing in court on a trespass ticket. It's the first time he did more than one night. It's been ten days. I am doing a video visit tomorrow. I love and accept my son for who he is. Every moment I spend with him is gold to me. Watching him suffer is absolutely killing me. I've been depressed about him his whole life but lately it's a whole new level. I'm so devastated that it takes all I have to fight back tears and I often burst out sobbing in public. I quit my job because I am too depressed to work. I think I finally saw the reality of his future and I finally let go of hope that had been sustaining me for years. Its not realistic that he will get better at least not unless he does something to cause a court to order him on medication. But he keeps it together in public enough that will probably not happen. I literally think about him every second of every day. I am heartbroken [/QUOTE]
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heartbroken over son's worsening state
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