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Parent Emeritus
heartbroken over son's worsening state
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<blockquote data-quote="savior no more" data-source="post: 689960" data-attributes="member: 19838"><p>I still think people believe this today about my son. It used to be teachers and principals, now it's jailers. lawyers, and judges. </p><p></p><p>Hi Karisma - so glad you found us. I'm sorry you need to be here but I have found comfort among the people here like no where else. Not even the psychiatrists and psychologists have been seasoned by fire like parents of children like ours. My son is a lot like yours and we've struggled since he was three. He turns 20 tomorrow in county jail - he has been in jail the last two years on his birthday and two more years before that he was in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He has numerous diagnoses including Asperger's, bipolar, tourette's, and ODD and substance abuse. He too will end up in prison but he was getting beat up and kidnapped on the outside so I'm not sure which is worse. I don't think the level of functioning is low enough for a state school. I tell you this not to switch to my story, but to share this path that I trudge with you as a concerned parent. </p><p></p><p>I too get depressed at times and sometimes my default emotion is I want to not exist when the pain for his life and struggles gets too deep. I tend to overeat to deal with this pain. I am slowly crawling out of this pain and deciding that my life is separate and that no matter what, I can somehow find peace and joy amidst life's seeming trials and tribulations. The grieving process of slowly giving up the illusion of hope and change is necessary to come to some level of acceptance of what is ... not what we wish could be. I've learned to let go of a lot of the judgement of his life and just say that he is a soul on a journey. That's about the best I can do today. I still advocate for him in the judicial system and I can do so and function, however, I don't do it with the desperation of years past. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think we as a society view homelessness as the worst thing possible. It might be, but then again people that can live this way must do so on a tremendous amount of faith and trust from the universe - a level that I don't think I could muster. Slowly my perception is changing from gloom and doom to one of questioning my perception. I find it here. I hope you can find some way to find happiness and meaning whether your son is doing well or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="savior no more, post: 689960, member: 19838"] I still think people believe this today about my son. It used to be teachers and principals, now it's jailers. lawyers, and judges. Hi Karisma - so glad you found us. I'm sorry you need to be here but I have found comfort among the people here like no where else. Not even the psychiatrists and psychologists have been seasoned by fire like parents of children like ours. My son is a lot like yours and we've struggled since he was three. He turns 20 tomorrow in county jail - he has been in jail the last two years on his birthday and two more years before that he was in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He has numerous diagnoses including Asperger's, bipolar, tourette's, and ODD and substance abuse. He too will end up in prison but he was getting beat up and kidnapped on the outside so I'm not sure which is worse. I don't think the level of functioning is low enough for a state school. I tell you this not to switch to my story, but to share this path that I trudge with you as a concerned parent. I too get depressed at times and sometimes my default emotion is I want to not exist when the pain for his life and struggles gets too deep. I tend to overeat to deal with this pain. I am slowly crawling out of this pain and deciding that my life is separate and that no matter what, I can somehow find peace and joy amidst life's seeming trials and tribulations. The grieving process of slowly giving up the illusion of hope and change is necessary to come to some level of acceptance of what is ... not what we wish could be. I've learned to let go of a lot of the judgement of his life and just say that he is a soul on a journey. That's about the best I can do today. I still advocate for him in the judicial system and I can do so and function, however, I don't do it with the desperation of years past. Sometimes I think we as a society view homelessness as the worst thing possible. It might be, but then again people that can live this way must do so on a tremendous amount of faith and trust from the universe - a level that I don't think I could muster. Slowly my perception is changing from gloom and doom to one of questioning my perception. I find it here. I hope you can find some way to find happiness and meaning whether your son is doing well or not. [/QUOTE]
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heartbroken over son's worsening state
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