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Helicopter parenting may negatively affect children's emotional well-being, behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="Pink Elephant" data-source="post: 735574" data-attributes="member: 21572"><p>My mother in law was a total Helicopter Parent.</p><p></p><p>When she'd babysit for us, she never left the kids alone. Checking, re-checking, fussing over, pulling, prodding, straightening, and on and on it went, then there was the old, "what are you doing"? "What are you up to"? "What are you getting into"? My kids would display their unhappiness when I'd announce that Grandma (#2) would be babysitting, and my kids were by no means old at that point. Two were still in cribs.</p><p></p><p>I vividly remember one particular story oldest dear daughter told me... <em>many-a story in fact</em>, but the one story that stands out in my mind to this day is the one where grandma #2 (dear husbands mom) was babysitting at our house one afternoon. Dear daughter informed me that grandma kept getting up from the kitchen table, walking down the hallway and into the baby's room, lowering the crib railing, and checking the baby's diapers. When she was done her routine, she'd lift the railing back into the locked position, then walk back down to the kitchen again, sit down, and within a few minutes, she'd be at it again, getting back up, walking down the hallway to the baby's room, going through her ridiculous motions of lowering baby's crib railing (again), and re-checking baby's diapers (again).</p><p></p><p>I recall my daughters words to me... "grandma kept checking the baby to see if he needed changed, mommy, but she never changed him, she just kept checking him, lots and lots, mommy". Even my daughter knew grandmas actions weren't normal.</p><p></p><p>Grandma was perfectly (there)... no marbles missing at the time, and being that she was well-experienced in using old-fashioned traditional cloth diapers (dear husband and his siblings), she knew darned well a wet diaper wasn't cause for concern for the short-time baby would be down, yet grandma was hell-bent and determined that day to fuss over the baby and disturb him (again and again) for the entire time he was down for his afternoon nap. I was furious when I got home and found out what had unfolded while I was gone.</p><p></p><p>There are a TON of other stories, too (might have to start a new thread conversation about them in the near future), but the naptime one really stands out for me.</p><p></p><p>I always knew from certain stories dear husband told me, his mom was a helicopter mom, but her actions when babysitting at our house truly confirmed all that I knew.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, needless to say, my own mom was our go-to babysitter when at all possible. She always let the kids be kids. Sure, they got fed, they got checked, and they certainly got changed, but my mom was more like me when it came to letting the kids be. Unless intervention was needed, my kids were free to be. </p><p></p><p>Even as a babysitter I don't recall fussing over anyone at anytime, regardless of whether it was nighttime, naptime, or whatever time, unless I absolutely had to. If I arrived at a home later where the kids were already down for the night, sure, I'd do a quick check on everyone to make sure all was well as soon I got there, but that's it. No repeated checks. I never concerned myself over running for a bottle, unless one was needed, and as far as changing diapers went, unless someone's pants were in obvious need of a change, I never bothered even checking them. As far as I was concerned, they were put to bed in clean, dry, freshly changed pants, because that was always the standard drill in our house when my siblings were babies.</p><p></p><p>You prepared a bottle, whisked or packed the kid down to their room, lifted them into their crib, changed their diapers, raised the crib railing to the locked and secured position, and night-night it was.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Pink Elephant, post: 735574, member: 21572"] My mother in law was a total Helicopter Parent. When she'd babysit for us, she never left the kids alone. Checking, re-checking, fussing over, pulling, prodding, straightening, and on and on it went, then there was the old, "what are you doing"? "What are you up to"? "What are you getting into"? My kids would display their unhappiness when I'd announce that Grandma (#2) would be babysitting, and my kids were by no means old at that point. Two were still in cribs. I vividly remember one particular story oldest dear daughter told me... [I]many-a story in fact[/I], but the one story that stands out in my mind to this day is the one where grandma #2 (dear husbands mom) was babysitting at our house one afternoon. Dear daughter informed me that grandma kept getting up from the kitchen table, walking down the hallway and into the baby's room, lowering the crib railing, and checking the baby's diapers. When she was done her routine, she'd lift the railing back into the locked position, then walk back down to the kitchen again, sit down, and within a few minutes, she'd be at it again, getting back up, walking down the hallway to the baby's room, going through her ridiculous motions of lowering baby's crib railing (again), and re-checking baby's diapers (again). I recall my daughters words to me... "grandma kept checking the baby to see if he needed changed, mommy, but she never changed him, she just kept checking him, lots and lots, mommy". Even my daughter knew grandmas actions weren't normal. Grandma was perfectly (there)... no marbles missing at the time, and being that she was well-experienced in using old-fashioned traditional cloth diapers (dear husband and his siblings), she knew darned well a wet diaper wasn't cause for concern for the short-time baby would be down, yet grandma was hell-bent and determined that day to fuss over the baby and disturb him (again and again) for the entire time he was down for his afternoon nap. I was furious when I got home and found out what had unfolded while I was gone. There are a TON of other stories, too (might have to start a new thread conversation about them in the near future), but the naptime one really stands out for me. I always knew from certain stories dear husband told me, his mom was a helicopter mom, but her actions when babysitting at our house truly confirmed all that I knew. Anyhow, needless to say, my own mom was our go-to babysitter when at all possible. She always let the kids be kids. Sure, they got fed, they got checked, and they certainly got changed, but my mom was more like me when it came to letting the kids be. Unless intervention was needed, my kids were free to be. Even as a babysitter I don't recall fussing over anyone at anytime, regardless of whether it was nighttime, naptime, or whatever time, unless I absolutely had to. If I arrived at a home later where the kids were already down for the night, sure, I'd do a quick check on everyone to make sure all was well as soon I got there, but that's it. No repeated checks. I never concerned myself over running for a bottle, unless one was needed, and as far as changing diapers went, unless someone's pants were in obvious need of a change, I never bothered even checking them. As far as I was concerned, they were put to bed in clean, dry, freshly changed pants, because that was always the standard drill in our house when my siblings were babies. You prepared a bottle, whisked or packed the kid down to their room, lifted them into their crib, changed their diapers, raised the crib railing to the locked and secured position, and night-night it was. [/QUOTE]
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