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Helicopter parents.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658840" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think it's ok if they are under 18, but I think that, unless you live in a culture where your kids will and can depend on family to be around to pick up the pieces forever, even after you are gone, beyond that it is not good. In the U.S., which is probably the most individualistic country in the world, this is rarely the case. Rarely do brothers and sisters care for siblings when the parents are gone and they often live on different coasts. In the U.S. you have to be able to live on your own and make your own choices because there is nobody to tell you what to do, to take you in if you fail, and family is very disconnected. It is not uncommon, at least here, for kids and parents and sisters and brothers to never speak to one another. It is encouraged in therapy in many places.</p><p></p><p>There are limited social programs to really pick you up when you are at your worst and you need to figure out how to take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>I do not like this individualism we have here and am more of a collectivist and believe in "for the greater good" which makes me a U.S. outcast. But the country is what it is. There are no laws forcing relatives to sh are their goods when they pass on to their relatives. They can disown a relative, even a child. And it happens. It happened to me.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I do not know where you live, Suzir, but it sounds like probably a place I would enjoy more than the U.S. Under those conditions, perhaps I would not have taught my children to be so independent because perhaps it would not have been necessary. But the fact is, here it is necessary. Individualism and not taking anything from anybody or the system is valued here and we live here.</p><p></p><p>My grown kids are totally living on their own with no help from me and Bart only got money when he had to fight in court for 50% custody of his little boy. Even he, who has suffered with mental illness, is independent. It's just the way it has to be here. Now I could be talking nonsense because I really have never lived abroad, but I get the idea that we, here int he U.S., value independence over all else. A good example is that if a young woman finds out that a, say, twenty six year old young man still lives with his parents, she would likely to write off the young man as a mama's boy and refuse to go out with him. There is the understanding that he is too old, by that age, to be dependent upon his parents in any way.</p><p></p><p>I know in some countries, grown kids AND their families live with their parents, but that is very rare in the U.S. and considered undesirable as in, "I AM NOT LIVING WITH MY IN-LAWS. ARE YOU KIDDDDDING????" <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks for this thread and all the input so far. It is interesting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658840, member: 1550"] I think it's ok if they are under 18, but I think that, unless you live in a culture where your kids will and can depend on family to be around to pick up the pieces forever, even after you are gone, beyond that it is not good. In the U.S., which is probably the most individualistic country in the world, this is rarely the case. Rarely do brothers and sisters care for siblings when the parents are gone and they often live on different coasts. In the U.S. you have to be able to live on your own and make your own choices because there is nobody to tell you what to do, to take you in if you fail, and family is very disconnected. It is not uncommon, at least here, for kids and parents and sisters and brothers to never speak to one another. It is encouraged in therapy in many places. There are limited social programs to really pick you up when you are at your worst and you need to figure out how to take care of yourself. I do not like this individualism we have here and am more of a collectivist and believe in "for the greater good" which makes me a U.S. outcast. But the country is what it is. There are no laws forcing relatives to sh are their goods when they pass on to their relatives. They can disown a relative, even a child. And it happens. It happened to me. I do not know where you live, Suzir, but it sounds like probably a place I would enjoy more than the U.S. Under those conditions, perhaps I would not have taught my children to be so independent because perhaps it would not have been necessary. But the fact is, here it is necessary. Individualism and not taking anything from anybody or the system is valued here and we live here. My grown kids are totally living on their own with no help from me and Bart only got money when he had to fight in court for 50% custody of his little boy. Even he, who has suffered with mental illness, is independent. It's just the way it has to be here. Now I could be talking nonsense because I really have never lived abroad, but I get the idea that we, here int he U.S., value independence over all else. A good example is that if a young woman finds out that a, say, twenty six year old young man still lives with his parents, she would likely to write off the young man as a mama's boy and refuse to go out with him. There is the understanding that he is too old, by that age, to be dependent upon his parents in any way. I know in some countries, grown kids AND their families live with their parents, but that is very rare in the U.S. and considered undesirable as in, "I AM NOT LIVING WITH MY IN-LAWS. ARE YOU KIDDDDDING????" :) Thanks for this thread and all the input so far. It is interesting. [/QUOTE]
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