difficult child had a *massive* panic attack of epic proportions. She was sobbing uncontrollably, hyperventilating, and literally frozen in place. It took me and the art therapist to get her up out of her chair to take her outside where we sat on the steps and I knelt in front of her rubbing her legs, getting her to focus on me, and spent 15 minutes just getting her to breathe. The episode continued for another 2 hours, but at least she was breathing and able to talk. I didn't think ahead or I would have brought a PRN with me. I ended up missing at least half of the meeting, and while I was in the meeting I was so focused on difficult child that I wasn't able to effectively advocate for her, or even pay attention to what the rest of the team was discussing. The only good thing is that these people have finally seen what I've been telling them for years, but I swear I've never seen anyone that could watch that happen in front of them and act like nothing was going on. therapist, CPS caseworker, and art therapist were all very concerned, as were the other teachers we met on the way out of the building, but guidance counselor, sped director, mental health liaison (whom I'd never met before), and lead teacher all went on as if nothing was happening....while my child is hyperventilating right next to them! I was fighting back tears because all a panicking difficult child needs is a mom falling apart, right? Sped director had another meeting to get to and she just wanted to wrap things up. And, of course, nothing changed. They went into the meeting with the mindset that nothing was going to change. Meanwhile, I called the meeting because I see difficult child ending up in psychiatric hospital again if something didn't change and difficult child is saying that she'd rather be in the hospital than at that school. Backstory - she was transferred to a therapeutic alternative school 3 weeks ago. In theory it seemed like a perfect fit. It's obviously not. She's had multiple meltdowns in school - which she has *never* done before, she calls me from school everyday - which she doesn't do, and I've had to take her a PRN to school - which I've never had to do before. I realize that we are pushing difficult child outside of her comfort zone and that needs to happen at some point, but she was just finding stability and I don't think she's had enough stability to be pushed. I think that the only way she is going to learn anything at this school, as it is independent study, is if I'm there everyday to teach her and if I'm going to do that, I might as well have her home. And that's if I can get her there. CPS is wanting caseworker to close the case because it's not an abuse or neglect situation, but caseworker is keeping it open because she wants to advocate for both me and difficult child. She wants to brainstorm with SD's that have excellent sped programs, to at least see if they have any ideas on how to work with this school if we can't do an out of district transfer. She is also worried that difficult child is going to end up in psychiatric hospital again and wants to keep the case open for that reason as well. therapist and caseworker did an excellent job advocating for difficult child and explaining what we are dealing with with difficult child. I just really don't think this SD gives a damn.