Hello all...

[NekoNeko]

Hi everyone. New to this forum. It seems I might be one of the few who is struggling with a very defiant 2.5yo. After checking several lists, she has every symptom of an ADHD child. But her pediatrician says that she is too young to be diagnosed. I'm trying to find the patience and knowledge to deal with this for another 2+ years. Any suggestions?

Thank you in advance.

 

[smallworld]

Welcome!

Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us help you.
What behaviors are you noticing?
Any speech or developmental delays? Or does she speak like a "little professor"?
Does she have any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to clothing tags, sock seams, food textures, loud noises, etc)?
If she's enrolled, how does she do in a preschool setting (both with peers and teachers)?
Any unusual play behavior (lining up toys instead of playing with them, spinning wheels, etc)?
Any mental health challenges or substance abuse in the family tree?

Again, welcome. I hope we'll be able to give you some direction once you give us more information.

 

[NekoNeko]

What behaviors are you noticing?
Indifference to commands or discipline. No personal space or ownership respect. No patience or interactive impact concerns with other people. Somewhat destructive. Generally resists any request, does opposite.

Any speech or developmental delays? Or does she speak like a "little professor"?
She speaks Vietnamese and English, but her speech is somewhat simplistic. I don’t know if it’s lack of exposure or lack of attention from her.

Does she have any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to clothing tags, sock seams, food textures, loud noises, etc)?
She has textural hang-ups with her hands and feet, as well as food textures.

If she's enrolled, how does she do in a preschool setting (both with peers and teachers)?
N/A

Any unusual play behavior (lining up toys instead of playing with them, spinning wheels, etc)?
She prefers repetitive actions, assembly and disassembly into component parts. She does not do any one action or play with a specific toy for more than a few moments unless it’s complex like having multiple buttons or actions.

Any mental health challenges or substance abuse in the family tree?
Some form of mental health issues from my husband on both sides. Premature baby issues for 4 generations, substance abuse in adults in many cases from husband side.

I hope these are helpful, I'd like to also add that she is not mean or cruel spirited. Sweet/happy child overall. Just extremely defiant and stubborn.

Thank you again.

 

[tiredmommy]

Welcome! I have a few questions too:

Does she seem angry/outraged during meltdowns or frustrated/pushed too far the majority of the time?

Is she very literal with her language? Does she miss or misuse idiom and turns of phrase?

 

[NekoNeko]

Does she seem angry/outraged during meltdowns or frustrated/pushed too far the majority of the time?
She mostly seem frustrated or pushed too far most of the time during meltdowns.

Is she very literal with her language? Does she miss or misuse idiom and turns of phrase?
She doesn't use idioms or turns of phrase yet...Should she be at 2 1/2 years old? I suppose she's more literal with her language.

Thank you.

 

[JJJ]

She should be literal at 2.5 years of age, but the other symptoms all could be markers for an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) diagnosis.

Call your local public school, tell them you have a 2 year old with suspected special needs and you need the number for your local ECI program.

Here is info about Texas ECI: http://www.dars.state.tx.us/ecis/publications/EnglishHandbook.pdf

They should screen her in all of the major areas (gross motor, fine motor, speech/language, self-help, social-emotional). If any of the screenings show a concern, they should conduct a full evaluation of that area(s).

Meanwhile, try and track her meltdowns. Are they happening at a certain time of day? After she eats a certain food or type of food? During specific activities? The more you can pin down why she is melting down, the more you will be able to prevent them. At this point in time, I would focus on minimizing the number of meltdowns, even if that means you need to back off some of your expectations for now. Once you get a handle on what is going on, you will be able to develop a plan to teach her whatever skills she is missing and then move forward with higher expectations.

Tigger was clearly different from about 18 months. Have you looked at the Early Childhood Zone on this forum, lots of parents with very young children.

Welcome!

 

[BeachPeace]

Hi there -
Welcome. My sweet daughter Indigo is 10 years old and she was disgnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) before she was age 2. She had some intense stimming behaviors, had an extremely hard time with any transition or deviation to our routine, would scream all the time until I found the tag, texture, or issue that was making her uncomfortable. She never really has cared much for friends or other people and is obsessed with all animals. She is affectionate to us. At about 18 months of age Our pediatrician referred us to our local children's hospital primarily due to the fact that she had some developmental delays. When I was first told she was "On the Spectrum" I was clueless but almost thankful that there was a diagnosis of why my daughter was so difficult. I joke now that she screamed non-stop for the first four years of her life, then started talking and has never stopped.
Good Luck and I am glad you have found this place.

 

[susiestar]

Hi and Welcome!! You have come to exactly the right place!! Don't worry about telling us things. Unlike many people in your daily life, we have all been there done that. So there are no fingers pointing or judgments being made.

Contacting ECI is very very important. Don't wait until school opens to do it. Services are free and the earlier you start interventions the better the long term outcome for your child. There are a LOT of things that can be done at her age. You might also ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. That would be the right doctor to start the evaluations and medication decisions. Pediatricians are woefully undertrained in identifying and treating this kind of problem. Heck, our pediatrician when Wiz was little just kept telling me that he needed more discipline when in fact he had Aspergers.

ADHD can be a problem by itself or a component of another problem. Whatever is going on, never doubt your instincts. You know your child FAR better than ANY doctor ever will. You spend every day with her, thinking about her, knowing her. You spent those 40 weeks with her 24/7 before she was even born. Docs spend a few minutes every few weeks or months. So no matter the problem, trust your instincts. That is why you have them!

In addition to this General forum, we also have a forum for kids under age 5. There is a thread at the top about using techniques from The Explosive Child with young children. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is a book that we recommend very highly. It may seem counter-intuitive, but it works. I also recommend Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. The Love and Logic books are wonderful, in my opinion. They stress logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. You can learn more about L&L at www.loveandlogic.com and the books are available at bookstores or from the website. Or you can click on the link to amazon on this forum and the purchase will help support the site (NOT required).

(((((Hugs))))) and welcome!

 

[NekoNeko]

I want to thank EVERYONE for your most helpful replies. I feel a little better knowing that I am not alone in this struggle. I will look into everyone's suggestions and seek as much help as I can to give my daughter the best chance possible.

In the meantime, I will pray for each and everyone here for a better tomorrow...because we can only take it one day at a time.

I will keep everyone updated with my difficult child 1's progress.

Thank you so much!

 

[NekoNeko]

I have purchased the book for Early Childhood via the link to amazon. I hope it worked to support the site! There was no indication. hehehe.... Thank you so much for your advice. =)