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Parent Emeritus
Hello - an introduction.
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 699366" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Welcome, Corris. Sorry that you have landed here but you will find a wealth of support and info! </p><p></p><p>You are not a bad person. I can't address anything from the step-mother perspective but I can totally relate to the husband with a brain injury. Mine suffered a workplace traumatic brain injury and difficult daughter could care less. Our daughter has been on her roller-coaster ride, stopping medications at 18 and leaving home; returning when plans didn't work out. She is now 25 and still with the same behaviours.</p><p></p><p>My husband was a little slower to come around to detachment and boundaries issue with our daughter. He worried constantly that something bad would happen to her if she were to be out on the streets. But lately, the stress of this is really getting to him. He can't quit smoking and is more depressed, yet our daughter keeps traveling the world without a care. We are entering our retirement years and he now sees that our enabling and supporting her current lifestyle is going to either kill us or bankrupt us.</p><p></p><p>We've been to counselling; both together and separately. I think it was really good for my husband to talk with a counsellor alone - with some of his head injury symptoms he needed someone to pose things in a different light. Your husband's head injury may be impacting how he views things and/or his inability to set firm boundaries with your son.</p><p></p><p>I say this all gently because we are in the current midst of detachment as boundaries don't seem to be working and we are struggling with our decision. It hurts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 699366, member: 355"] Welcome, Corris. Sorry that you have landed here but you will find a wealth of support and info! You are not a bad person. I can't address anything from the step-mother perspective but I can totally relate to the husband with a brain injury. Mine suffered a workplace traumatic brain injury and difficult daughter could care less. Our daughter has been on her roller-coaster ride, stopping medications at 18 and leaving home; returning when plans didn't work out. She is now 25 and still with the same behaviours. My husband was a little slower to come around to detachment and boundaries issue with our daughter. He worried constantly that something bad would happen to her if she were to be out on the streets. But lately, the stress of this is really getting to him. He can't quit smoking and is more depressed, yet our daughter keeps traveling the world without a care. We are entering our retirement years and he now sees that our enabling and supporting her current lifestyle is going to either kill us or bankrupt us. We've been to counselling; both together and separately. I think it was really good for my husband to talk with a counsellor alone - with some of his head injury symptoms he needed someone to pose things in a different light. Your husband's head injury may be impacting how he views things and/or his inability to set firm boundaries with your son. I say this all gently because we are in the current midst of detachment as boundaries don't seem to be working and we are struggling with our decision. It hurts. [/QUOTE]
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Hello - an introduction.
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