Hello fellow seekers

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Echolette, May 8, 2015.

  1. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    I know I"ve been quiet for a while..I've been reading a long and joining in here and there. It is partly because I don't have much to say...I feel quiet in myself, even. My son has been in jail for a couple of months now, and will be for many months longer. His case is wending its way through the system, although he has a PD who is working astonishingly hard to get him moved to the mental health court. He calls every day, for 5 minutes. I send him books. He is on his medications, and clean, so he is pretty easy to talk to. He was always a pretty easy person.

    We are where we are. I walk through the days without crying, without that deep sense of terror, of falling, of grief that I see in so many posts. It is OK. I am accustomed to this place now, and there is room for me to live and to breathe again.

    Oh one thing...I do sometimes use my fallow enabling skills to mess with my SO, and my ex, and his new wife, and my other kids sometimes. That is my new project, eliminating that behavior from my life.

    To the new people...I hope you find healing in the words of the wise and not so wise fellow sufferers among us.

    To my old friends (you know who you are!) I thank you for being there for me, and for continuing to shine light into the lonely darkness of parenting a Difficult Child. From my little distance I see the newcomers as sort of bursting through the door, coming in from a terrible dangerous storm, falling on the ground in our quiet space gasping for air, terrified, adrenaline charged, sobbing...and we can close the door behind them, and open some windows to let the light in.

    An amazing place, this home we have all made of sisters and brothers together.

    Hello fellow seekers.


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  2. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I am glad to hear from you, Echo. You sound very well. I love your description of our site. That is very much what it feels like when we find ourselves, here.

    When we find ourselves, here with one another.

    Very nice to see you, again.

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  3. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member


    thank you, old friend.

  4. Iwantpeace

    Iwantpeace Member

    That was so beautiful the way you wrote about the new people coming in from the storm. I am new and that describes it so well. It made me cry. I am glad you are in a good space. I can't wait for the time I don't cry and can say I don't feel the sence of terror and grief. I'm grateful for your post today.
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  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi Echo,
    Glad to hear you are doing ok.
    Your post was wonderful.
    I do hope things go well for your son.
    Take care of yourself!!
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  6. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Hi Echo, I am so glad to hear how you describe where you are right now. I am glad Difficult Child has a roof, three squares and people are trying to help. So very glad.

    Warm hugs from me, my friend.
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  7. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member


    Happy to "see" you, hear from you, always. Good to hear you are going gracefully with what you have--and I would expect no less. You have certainly helped me....as well as many, many others.
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  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello ECHO, so very nice to read your words and your descriptions. I do recall.....and I don't believe I will ever forget..... when I burst through that door, devastation having become my best friend. And, yes, that door closed behind me too.....giving me one of the first deep breaths I had taken in quite some time. Seeking peace where there had only been chaos and suffering........

    .......And, now my friend, you are one of those 'door closers' having come bursting through that door yourself......I remember........and now you can take those deep breaths and let the fear and the agony of it all go.......and find that elusive peace and serenity we seekers are yearning for.......

    We can do it ECHO, we really can.....we can live through it and get to the other side.......and find our way home.....

    So good to "see" you.....and to 'feel' the calm in your heart......thanks for the wonderful post....
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  9. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Hi Echo
    I am one of the new people, gratified to be here. So good to know that you are standing by and with us. Thank you.
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  10. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    It is so good to hear from you, Echo. I have been wondering how it was all going for you and your son. I too am so glad that he is in a place where he has food, shelter and people who want to find the best situation for him. It is good to know that he is safe, to know that tonight he is not sleeping under a bridge. It is good to be able to talk to him when he is clean and sober and fully himself.

    Your description of this place is so lovely -- it is exactly how I felt when I first stumbled in here.

    I haven't been posting as much as I did. Things are quiet on the Difficult Child front right now. We sold our house and moved to another town. Difficult Child can call us, but he does not know where we live. He has asked us many times, but we keep deflecting.

    And I have to say...it provides a lot of peace of mind knowing that Difficult Child can't show up on the doorstep drunk or high or in crisis mode. So I don't think I WILL tell him anytime soon...

    I never thought the day would come when I wouldn't want my child knowing where I live...but if that boundary provides peace of mind, then for right now it is a good boundary to have in place.

    Sometimes it amazes me what the "new normal" becomes when parenting a Difficult Child...

    But it is such a good thing to have that peace, Echo, especially on Mother's Day, whenever and however we are able to carve it out. I am so glad you have found that today.
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  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I totally get this. I am working on selling my house. I am looking at cottage living. There will be enough space for me and my furbies.
  12. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I laughed when I read that ... and then I thought "why am I laughing?" so yes... it's amazing what becomes the new normal.

    I'm one of the 'oldies' now am I?
    I'm a survivor.
    I don't know where I would have been if I hadn't found this site.

    There are lots of new names here.
    I hope all you 'newbies' become the future survivors.

    I don't find I have that much to say anymore.
    I'm mostly just getting on with it now.
    It's good that I've reached this stage, where I can just get on with it.
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