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General Parenting
Hello - New here and would appeciate any advice
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 377684" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi and welcome!</p><p></p><p>My difficult child was extremely violent for many years. We were taught by his therapist when he was around age 5 how to do a therapeutic basket hold during violent rages. As difficult child got taller, the basket hold did not work out so well (nose, meet difficult child's head - OUCH!!). We were then taught how to do a different hold. </p><p></p><p>For us, we simply would not have survived his early years without this tool. My son hit, kicked, bit, spit, threw objects - you name it, he did it. And when he was raging, even at ages 7, 8, 9, it was incredibly difficult to restrain him because his strength was really super human.</p><p></p><p>I don't see many parents talk about restraining/holding their kids anymore - don't know if it's become frowned upon or what. I absolutely <strong><em><u>would not ever recommend</u></em></strong> a parent doing a therapeutic restraint without getting training from a therapist or psychiatrist first. The potential for someone getting hurt (difficult child or a parent) is a real concern. </p><p></p><p>I would also highly recommend setting up very firm guidelines for when a restraint would be used, and in my humble opinion when a restraint is being used, there should be absolutely zero attempts at verbal interactions with- the child. My son was restrained at home, school, and later in RTCs. Restraints eventually became very rewarding for him, and actually I think caused him to *not* work to maintain self-control. He was guaranteed the undivided attn of the restrainer and... well, he just thrived on it. I remember being called up to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because he was flipping out, and when I got there 2 staff were restraining him (he was a very big 14 years old at the time) and 3 more were trying to interact with him during the restraint. It was an absolute zoo and my kid was just loving it.</p><p></p><p>I think used properly, restraints are useful with some kids. I think you're right about holding off processing/cleaning up the mess until after the crisis has passed. And boy do I really hear you about having some buttons that are almost impossible not to react to, but it's really extremely important that you retain emotional control of the situation. It took me longer than it should have to figure that out, but once I finally got it, it really did help.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome and I'm glad you found us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 377684, member: 8"] Hi and welcome! My difficult child was extremely violent for many years. We were taught by his therapist when he was around age 5 how to do a therapeutic basket hold during violent rages. As difficult child got taller, the basket hold did not work out so well (nose, meet difficult child's head - OUCH!!). We were then taught how to do a different hold. For us, we simply would not have survived his early years without this tool. My son hit, kicked, bit, spit, threw objects - you name it, he did it. And when he was raging, even at ages 7, 8, 9, it was incredibly difficult to restrain him because his strength was really super human. I don't see many parents talk about restraining/holding their kids anymore - don't know if it's become frowned upon or what. I absolutely [B][I][U]would not ever recommend[/U][/I][/B] a parent doing a therapeutic restraint without getting training from a therapist or psychiatrist first. The potential for someone getting hurt (difficult child or a parent) is a real concern. I would also highly recommend setting up very firm guidelines for when a restraint would be used, and in my humble opinion when a restraint is being used, there should be absolutely zero attempts at verbal interactions with- the child. My son was restrained at home, school, and later in RTCs. Restraints eventually became very rewarding for him, and actually I think caused him to *not* work to maintain self-control. He was guaranteed the undivided attn of the restrainer and... well, he just thrived on it. I remember being called up to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because he was flipping out, and when I got there 2 staff were restraining him (he was a very big 14 years old at the time) and 3 more were trying to interact with him during the restraint. It was an absolute zoo and my kid was just loving it. I think used properly, restraints are useful with some kids. I think you're right about holding off processing/cleaning up the mess until after the crisis has passed. And boy do I really hear you about having some buttons that are almost impossible not to react to, but it's really extremely important that you retain emotional control of the situation. It took me longer than it should have to figure that out, but once I finally got it, it really did help. Again, welcome and I'm glad you found us! [/QUOTE]
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Hello - New here and would appeciate any advice
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