Hello. I just found this forum, have just barely poked around, but feel like I can relate to some of the things I am reading already, and am hoping to find support/advice, etc. I am the mom to 2 boys, currently 6 and 3.5 years. I was searching the web for help after my 3.5 year old's behavior finally got them kicked out of our current in-home daycare last Friday. I have joked for awhile that he was going to get them kicked out, but it's saddening and shocking and hard to swallow that it actually happened. A little about C. He has always been a more 'difficult' child. We have always thought part of the reason we find C difficult is that our first son is so easy, mellow, content, obedient, etc. and we just got spoiled He has just always been a handful since he was born. More crabby, less easy to keep content. As he got older, he is very strong willed, independent (when he wants to be, absolutely stubborn in his will to NOT do things for himself when he DOESN'T want to), and even naughty. The first of the real issues at daycare began about 1.5 years ago, around the age of two, when he started biting. His biting would sometimes be obviously for a specific purpose - another child had a toy he wanted - but at other times, he would just walk over to another who was minding their own business and bite them for seemingly no reason. We had some small issues with him trying to bite a bit at home, but most of the troubles were at Difficult Child. He has gotten better with the biting, although last Thursday, the FINAL STRAW day, he did bite another child and leave a mark, but it had been quite awhile since he had bit someone (probably 5 months?). After the biting, as he got older, he has become more aggressive to other kids; things like pushing, poking, wrestling, etc. Again, sometimes the behaviors seem to be done in the context of getting something he wants, but as often seem to be done for no reason at all. (He speaks fine, he is at least on track for his age, and better than some other kids his age in the language dept, so I don't think that's it's that he doesn't have the words to express what he is feeling, but he may not totally understand WHAT he is feeling...does that make sense?) (sorry I am going a bit all over the place, just trying to put down as much as I can remember and think of about him) When he was younger, before he did have the language to express himself (so around a year and up) we noticed that he would get aggressive when he gets excited. FOr example: we would be playing around, tickling, having fun, and he would be fine one minute, but as he got more excited, it was like he couldn't control himself, and next thing you know he would be pinching you or grabbing at your face. It didn't seem like he was trying to hurt you, it was like he got so excited and got all this energy built up, and then POW, he had to release it, and pinching or grabbing was how he released it. We would have to hug him (restrain his arms with a hug) and talk to him and tell him to calm down. As he has gotten older, that still seems to somewhat be the case. He and his brother like to wrestle, or play the 'fighting game' as they call it (and although I don't condone fighting, they aren't really fighting; they like to chase each other, and then they catch each other and do a little wrestling...maybe we shouldn't let them, but from my experience, it's how boys like to play sometimes). The problem is, he always ends up taking it into pinching or grabbing or hitting, etc. (Which, is that TOTALLY abnormal for a little guy?? I guess I don't think so. It's not how our OTHER son is, but just because he isn't our other son, doesn't mean he is abnormal...) The issues at daycare as of late are: he likes to pretend his hands are 'guns' and pretend he is a transformer, or pretend he is spiderman and shoot webs out of his hands. Difficult Child provider doesn't like that. We have stopped letting him watch transformers and Spiderman, or any show which shows any kind of fighting or aggression, as he obviously likes to be physical and aggressive, and might be getting the idea from the shows that the 'good guys' WIN by beating up the bad guys. He is still doing the pushing, and last Thursday he kicked a smaller kid and the smaller kid fell down. Last week he pushed a smaller kid, and the kid almost hit his head on the door frame. He could have been hurt badly, I agree. When she is disciplining him, he has been putting his hands over his ears and saying he isn't listening. He has been getting out of timeouts (which he does at home, too. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes we have to spend about 5 minutes doing the supernanny thing of putting him continuously back in time out until he realizes we aren't giving in, and then he does, and sits there and cries and takes his timeout). So, I gotta wrap it up for now. I guess if I am honest with myself, and get past the - whatever the feelings I am feeling in regard to being told that my Difficult Child provider thinks our 3.5 year old is INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt the other children and that his behavior is abnormal and he should see a doctor (sadness, confusion, DENIAL, fear), that SOME of his behaviors over the years seem a bit different, but I am not sure exactly what is going on. Oh, he has been on track with developmental milestones as far as I know through his life. He knows his colors, numbers, letters mostly, is writing his name, speech is good, he is sweet and snuggly when he wants to be, he plays with others, he does imaginitive play by himself, he makes eye contact... I don't know exactly what I am looking for, probably ideas on if we should just make the daycare change and see if it changes his behavior and wait on any evaluation, or if we should be getting him evaluated now. We do plan on getting the boys into the school systems preschool/child age care program by the fall school year (they are full up right now) because I know the school district will have some resources to help us determine if there ARE issues that should be addressed, and to help us if there are... Thanks for listening!!