Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Magillalove, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. Magillalove

    Magillalove New Member

    Hi, I am new here. I just ran across this site in a google search.

    I have 4 kids ages 20, 16, 8 and 6.

    I have been married for 9 years to my husband but he has been with me for 14 so he has practically raised my older two.

    My older 3 kids are what I refer to as tricks. because I never knew what I was getting into with number 4.

    My first was a terrible terrible 2, I cried daily for 2 years:sad-very: when he was a toddler, but alas we made it through and he is fine and going to college now.

    The middle two are far calmer, more piece of cake like.

    Then came my little baby girl, she started her terrible twos at 7 months.

    I actually took her to the pediatrician. and said, "Something is wrong here, she acts like a two year old." The Dr's answer was that she was precocious.

    We have a family history of Bipolar disorder, and various other mental disorders. My older brother is Bipolar, as well as my grandfather, and I am as well, diagnosis, around 10 or 11 years ago.

    We took her to a psychiatrist in November of 2007 when she had a massive panic attack, and had gotten to where she had absolute school refusal.

    She has been in therapy with a psychiatrist for a few months before she saw the psychiatrist.

    The Tdos was adamant that we take her to the psychiatrist for many weeks, but my husband being very into natural therapies, wanted to try everything we could before medication.

    Then he saw her have a panic attack.

    Fast forward, She has been diagnosed as having Early Onset Bipolar Disorder, and ODD.

    we have tried many medications, but they only work for awhile before the side effects take over and she has to stop.

    Right now she is so defiant, I don't know how she is going to go to public school by Sept. which we are starting an IEP for. Currently she attends a private school with a class size of 12.

    I know this is alot of stuff, but not really anything specific.

    But where I am right now, is I started crying when I read the acronyms page. I am so past my limit, I am at that place where I am not coming up with the best plans for her, because she has worn me down so badly.

    What I need at this point, is some coping skills for her and myself.

    some strategies, because I know a lot of what is going on with her is behavioral not chemical. Of course the chemicals are always a factor, but we have let her get away with so much for so long, its all spun out of control.


    That is my long winded intro. :faint:

    Thanks for taking time to read this far ;)

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, Traci! Welcome! I'd recommend reading The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It has a lot of useful information that relieves somoe parental frustration. Also, have you read The Bipolar Child? That has a lot of good info, too. When you feel up to it, you might want to create a signature that will show up at the bottom of your posts. There is a thread on the FAQ section that explain how to do that.
  3. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Those panic attacks are awful to witness. Son had them when he started middle school. I shudder when I think about that time.

    Second the book recommendations. Get them ASAP!

    Welcome, this place is my sanctuary. We don't always have answers, but we're sure willing to listen.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    "Hi" Traci & welcome.

    It sounds like you've done the diagnostic run around & you have a handle on what is seems to be going on with your difficult child. That's a huge first step.

    I'd like to offer at your daughter age to possibly add in to the medications she may be taking a gentle hormone ~ it's helped kt with her mood swings.

    Now for you & husband. You have to believe in your parental gut instinct with your difficult child. You know the drill; sounds like you've had the testing done & such. Now you have to believe in your gut this is right for your difficult child & get a treatment plan going. If your gut tells you something more is going on then you need to continue the search for help.

    Traci, I've taken months off from the continual advocating needed just to take care of me; take care of my marriage & my family as a whole. My tweedles didn't fall off the "pages" or get so lost they couldn't find their way home, however they were no longer the continual center of our attention. I had to do this if I was to maintain my health, my strength to continue on.

    I took piano lessons, started golfing 2 - 3 times weekly; of late, I'm painting in watercolors. As my husband recently passed away I'm finding that I need to do more of this, not less.

    In my mind, I find myself detaching more & more from kt & wm's antics while still holding onto my love for them.

    I hope this helps somewhat. You can only do what you are strong enough to do. If your difficult child saps you of all strength you are no good to anyone in your family, especially yourself.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I've not experience with BiPolar (BP). However, I do want to welcome you to the board.

    We totally understand the exhaustion and need for some order, some plan.

    I agree with referring you to read The Bipolar Child. You may be diagnosis'd, but understanding how the disorder manifests itself within a young one is important to know. It may help you with some strategies.

    I know the most important thing in helping a young child with BiPolar (BP) is stabilizing the mood issue first. Most of the kids with BiPolar (BP) benefit from a mood stabilizer first and then other issues are addressed.

    I'm glad you have found your way to us.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I would buy two books: "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and "The Bipolar Child" by Dimitri and Janice Papalous. They should both help you out :) They may be at your library too.
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Hi Traci,

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us. We are a supportive group so I hope you will check in often with your questions and concerns.

    I have a 15-year-old son with BiPolar (BP). It has been a long and tiring journey, but things are definitely better than they were when he was first diagnosed in 2005. He's a lot more pleasant to be around at home because he's stable on his medications. You say your daughter has tried a lot of medications without good results. What is she taking now? What hasn't worked?

    I recommend locating your local chapter of the National Alliance for Mental Illness (www.nami.org). NAMI runs support groups for parents dealing with a mentally ill child as well as a NAMI Basics course that introduces parents to the ins and outs of parenting a mentally ill child. It's definitely worth checking out for some face-to-face support.

    Again, welcome. We're here for you as you begin this challenging journey.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I just love your screen name!

    We saw symptoms in my 8 year old when she was about 7 months old too. She doesn't have panic attacks, but she has a lot of anxiety and the anxiety just pull out the symptoms of the bipolar disorder and she becomes hypomanic. Are there certain triggers that make the anxiety worse? I know I can't tell Missy about anything that we are doing that might be remotely exciting for her. I wait to tell her that she's going to a sleepover until 1/2 hour before she leaves so she doesn't have time to get overwhelmingly excited.