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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 685843" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Welcome Nicwin. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/welcomecat.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":welcomecat:" title="welcomecat :welcomecat:" data-shortname=":welcomecat:" />Feeling guilty about your son serves no purpose. For what's it's worth, I do think you were in an abusive relationship. I think that you have a right to be respected and safe in your own home. For whatever the reason, your son felt like he could walk all over you. I think it was a sound decision to have him live with his father. You haven't abandoned him; you want him to learn to be civilized. You suddenly realized that it wasn't happening while he was living with you. You decided to make a change in order to give him the opportunity to mature. </p><p></p><p>Ferb has also always been a very angry boy. Parenting him has been a huge effort. There were days when he was younger when I wanted to return him to the hospital for a refund. Later, I wanted to divorce him. The turning point for Ferb happened last fall when he smashed his cell phone on the table in anger. It broke. I refused to replace it. Ferb's friends insisted that he get anger management counseling. The new counselor, getting a job, and losing his video games have all worked together to help Ferb mature. </p><p></p><p>You have no way of knowing what will help your son. It's seems clear to me that living with you was not going to push him to mature. I hope your ex will help him figure it out. I think your parenting job now has changed. You're still his mother, but you have to find a way to parent from a distance. </p><p></p><p>You said your son does not do drugs or alcohol. Is he a gamer?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 685843, member: 11832"] Welcome Nicwin. :welcomecat:Feeling guilty about your son serves no purpose. For what's it's worth, I do think you were in an abusive relationship. I think that you have a right to be respected and safe in your own home. For whatever the reason, your son felt like he could walk all over you. I think it was a sound decision to have him live with his father. You haven't abandoned him; you want him to learn to be civilized. You suddenly realized that it wasn't happening while he was living with you. You decided to make a change in order to give him the opportunity to mature. Ferb has also always been a very angry boy. Parenting him has been a huge effort. There were days when he was younger when I wanted to return him to the hospital for a refund. Later, I wanted to divorce him. The turning point for Ferb happened last fall when he smashed his cell phone on the table in anger. It broke. I refused to replace it. Ferb's friends insisted that he get anger management counseling. The new counselor, getting a job, and losing his video games have all worked together to help Ferb mature. You have no way of knowing what will help your son. It's seems clear to me that living with you was not going to push him to mature. I hope your ex will help him figure it out. I think your parenting job now has changed. You're still his mother, but you have to find a way to parent from a distance. You said your son does not do drugs or alcohol. Is he a gamer? [/QUOTE]
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