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General Parenting
Help desperately needed for my abused kids
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<blockquote data-quote="BethMjJax" data-source="post: 720780" data-attributes="member: 22341"><p>He has never done anything sexual towards anyone or himself. But he and I have talked extensively about how what was done to him was wrong, he knows that and wants nothing to do with those people any more. The abuse towards then happened after I left so I can't say how his behavior was then, but I do know how it is now. He has been back with me since June and was doing amazing, thenjoy it's like he took a nose dive and started acting out.</p><p></p><p>For the animal part, he slapped the dog once, on two separate occasions and knew instantly that it was wrong and showed remorse. I won't rehome the dog as the dog is my service dog who also has begun helping my son when he goes into episodes and calms him down and helps with his anxiety. However my son is never left alone with him.</p><p></p><p>His violent outburst seem to be linked to when he gets overly stimulated in situations or just can't get his way. It takes a lot to get him to the point of violence. When he isn't having a melt down he is a very sweet, loving, helpful, compassionate little boy. He knows the difference with truth and lies and doesn't have a problem with lying and fire is something that terrifies him. And when he does have his melt downs he does show remorse and acknowledges what he did wrong, and what he should have done instead. It's just in that moment he can't reason with himself.</p><p></p><p>I have spoken with his doctor and at his next appointment we will be talking about the possibility of him being ADHD and low end high functioning autistic so that I can understand.</p><p></p><p>He does not yet go to school, he starts kindergarten next year. So currently we work on typical kindergarten stuff at home. This is odd as when he works one on one with me he does excellent and retains everything. Then when he works one on one with my significant other he does excellent and retains everything. However if my significant other and I are in the room together, one talking and one working with him, he can't remember anything he has learned and loses new information within seconds. Such as learning to recognize a new letter in the alphabet.</p><p></p><p>My daughter actually talks to me about her feelings and the things she has went through, though she got least of the physical abuse. She is mature mentally for her age and will talk about everything with me. Her melt downs consist of crying spells and then curling up to cuddle and telling me what was going on in her head.</p><p></p><p>My sons attachment to my SO I wouldn't call bad, he trusts him, looks up to him, but isn't as loving with him as I am. When my SO left for the weekend to go hunting my son didn't want to sleep until he got home, my son asked repeatedly if he was coming home at all. Then when my SO did get home my son wouldnt speak to him for almost a week. He finally opened up and explained that he was afraid my SO was going to leave and never come back.</p><p></p><p>We are all on a list for a CPS age appropriate therapist, who specializes in what my kids and I have been through. While they don't have an opening at this time for our family, I do have the ability, and frequently use it, to call and discusswhat's happening and try to work through it that way. I'm just feeling like a failure and I'm drowning waiting for a spot to open for us. I am not in any way in denial. I know what happened and I'm actually very dedicated to how to help them. I found this site researching ways to help while waiting for our spot in therapy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BethMjJax, post: 720780, member: 22341"] He has never done anything sexual towards anyone or himself. But he and I have talked extensively about how what was done to him was wrong, he knows that and wants nothing to do with those people any more. The abuse towards then happened after I left so I can't say how his behavior was then, but I do know how it is now. He has been back with me since June and was doing amazing, thenjoy it's like he took a nose dive and started acting out. For the animal part, he slapped the dog once, on two separate occasions and knew instantly that it was wrong and showed remorse. I won't rehome the dog as the dog is my service dog who also has begun helping my son when he goes into episodes and calms him down and helps with his anxiety. However my son is never left alone with him. His violent outburst seem to be linked to when he gets overly stimulated in situations or just can't get his way. It takes a lot to get him to the point of violence. When he isn't having a melt down he is a very sweet, loving, helpful, compassionate little boy. He knows the difference with truth and lies and doesn't have a problem with lying and fire is something that terrifies him. And when he does have his melt downs he does show remorse and acknowledges what he did wrong, and what he should have done instead. It's just in that moment he can't reason with himself. I have spoken with his doctor and at his next appointment we will be talking about the possibility of him being ADHD and low end high functioning autistic so that I can understand. He does not yet go to school, he starts kindergarten next year. So currently we work on typical kindergarten stuff at home. This is odd as when he works one on one with me he does excellent and retains everything. Then when he works one on one with my significant other he does excellent and retains everything. However if my significant other and I are in the room together, one talking and one working with him, he can't remember anything he has learned and loses new information within seconds. Such as learning to recognize a new letter in the alphabet. My daughter actually talks to me about her feelings and the things she has went through, though she got least of the physical abuse. She is mature mentally for her age and will talk about everything with me. Her melt downs consist of crying spells and then curling up to cuddle and telling me what was going on in her head. My sons attachment to my SO I wouldn't call bad, he trusts him, looks up to him, but isn't as loving with him as I am. When my SO left for the weekend to go hunting my son didn't want to sleep until he got home, my son asked repeatedly if he was coming home at all. Then when my SO did get home my son wouldnt speak to him for almost a week. He finally opened up and explained that he was afraid my SO was going to leave and never come back. We are all on a list for a CPS age appropriate therapist, who specializes in what my kids and I have been through. While they don't have an opening at this time for our family, I do have the ability, and frequently use it, to call and discusswhat's happening and try to work through it that way. I'm just feeling like a failure and I'm drowning waiting for a spot to open for us. I am not in any way in denial. I know what happened and I'm actually very dedicated to how to help them. I found this site researching ways to help while waiting for our spot in therapy. [/QUOTE]
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