Allama
New Member
I've come on this site for a long time now and have always at least got some piece of mind knowing I wasn't the only one, and usually some really good advice too. So thanks for that. I've really appreciated it.
My difficult child has been getting progressively worse for a long time now. These past few weeks he seems to have given up completely on even trying to be good. This week so far he has refused to do any school work, been separated at school for bothering other kids, ran away from school and had to be found by the principal and brought home, left our house before 6:30 am (has done this about 10 times in the past month), tore down two blinds in his room, busted out his window (then through the pieces out the window were there were kids on the sidewalk), threatened my life too many times to count and threatened to kill every one else in the house, threatened to kill himself, stole $120 from a family member, and spent half of almost every day in a tantrum.
The tantrum's are what's getting me. Yesterday husband wasn't here, and difficult child spent about 2 hours smashing his head into the walls of his room and screaming at me.
difficult child is going to live with bio mom in July. He hasn't lived with her since he was a baby. husband has been letting him get by with murder because he knows he won't see him as often, and he feels guilty that he feels relieved that he won't be putting up with him everyday. So he's not wanting to enforce any discipline on difficult child. He's not pushing school work (gffg failed this year, and we know it already) he's not giving any consequences for behavior either. After he broke the window then husband took the other kids for a walk to get ice cream and wanted to take difficult child. I stopped that one, but come on? Take a kid to get a cone after he breaks a window?
I know difficult child has something other than his diagnosis. He's never gotten all the help he's needed. We've tried, but I don't think the therapist's and psychiatric's he's had have been up to the task. I wanted to write some of his behaviors and see what you guys think. I know you guys can't diagnose, but husband doesn't want to see how bad things are with him, and bio mom has no experience with kids or difficult child and doesn't know what in the world she's getting into.
difficult child cries and screams whenever you ask him to do anything. I mean anything as in "hand me the butter" may set him into a tantrum.
He threatens to hurt himself
he threatens to hurt (and kill) everyone else
He's mean to animals
He's abusive to other kids when he thinks no one is looking
He's very manipulative. Until someone knows him well, they think we are crazy, and that he seems so nice.
He doesn't like to be touched. He will cry if you tickle him.
He acts out sexually.
He tears up everything. He can't have anything in his room. On easter I only put three toys in his basket, he had tore up all three within 20 minutes of getting them.
He steals. Everything. He once stole $70 in ones that I had saved for vacation and ripped them all up and threw them in the toilet. He stole mine and husband's christmas bonus that we had cashed and we never found it. ($3,000)
He pees on things, and wiped poop on the walls until about 6 months ago.
He lies about anything. What he had for lunch, what clothes he has on.
He gorges on food. If he gets up before us, he'll sometimes eat a whole box of his sister's cereal (even though he doesn't like it) or a whole box of cookies.
He really seems to have no remorse about anything. He doesn't really act like he loves us at all. I know some of that is the attachment disorder, but he just has no emotions unless it's anger.
Any advice you can give, I'm willing to listen to. It's taking me a long time to be able to write that all down and not be embarrassed. I'm past that, I just want help. I'm so stressed out lately that I feel like banging my head on the wall like difficult child.
My difficult child has been getting progressively worse for a long time now. These past few weeks he seems to have given up completely on even trying to be good. This week so far he has refused to do any school work, been separated at school for bothering other kids, ran away from school and had to be found by the principal and brought home, left our house before 6:30 am (has done this about 10 times in the past month), tore down two blinds in his room, busted out his window (then through the pieces out the window were there were kids on the sidewalk), threatened my life too many times to count and threatened to kill every one else in the house, threatened to kill himself, stole $120 from a family member, and spent half of almost every day in a tantrum.
The tantrum's are what's getting me. Yesterday husband wasn't here, and difficult child spent about 2 hours smashing his head into the walls of his room and screaming at me.
difficult child is going to live with bio mom in July. He hasn't lived with her since he was a baby. husband has been letting him get by with murder because he knows he won't see him as often, and he feels guilty that he feels relieved that he won't be putting up with him everyday. So he's not wanting to enforce any discipline on difficult child. He's not pushing school work (gffg failed this year, and we know it already) he's not giving any consequences for behavior either. After he broke the window then husband took the other kids for a walk to get ice cream and wanted to take difficult child. I stopped that one, but come on? Take a kid to get a cone after he breaks a window?
I know difficult child has something other than his diagnosis. He's never gotten all the help he's needed. We've tried, but I don't think the therapist's and psychiatric's he's had have been up to the task. I wanted to write some of his behaviors and see what you guys think. I know you guys can't diagnose, but husband doesn't want to see how bad things are with him, and bio mom has no experience with kids or difficult child and doesn't know what in the world she's getting into.
difficult child cries and screams whenever you ask him to do anything. I mean anything as in "hand me the butter" may set him into a tantrum.
He threatens to hurt himself
he threatens to hurt (and kill) everyone else
He's mean to animals
He's abusive to other kids when he thinks no one is looking
He's very manipulative. Until someone knows him well, they think we are crazy, and that he seems so nice.
He doesn't like to be touched. He will cry if you tickle him.
He acts out sexually.
He tears up everything. He can't have anything in his room. On easter I only put three toys in his basket, he had tore up all three within 20 minutes of getting them.
He steals. Everything. He once stole $70 in ones that I had saved for vacation and ripped them all up and threw them in the toilet. He stole mine and husband's christmas bonus that we had cashed and we never found it. ($3,000)
He pees on things, and wiped poop on the walls until about 6 months ago.
He lies about anything. What he had for lunch, what clothes he has on.
He gorges on food. If he gets up before us, he'll sometimes eat a whole box of his sister's cereal (even though he doesn't like it) or a whole box of cookies.
He really seems to have no remorse about anything. He doesn't really act like he loves us at all. I know some of that is the attachment disorder, but he just has no emotions unless it's anger.
Any advice you can give, I'm willing to listen to. It's taking me a long time to be able to write that all down and not be embarrassed. I'm past that, I just want help. I'm so stressed out lately that I feel like banging my head on the wall like difficult child.
