Help for easy child?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mum2JK&TH, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    It's been awhile since I've posted, but there is no better place to get some direction then here.
    easy child who is 12 and I witnessed a pretty gruesome accident last week. A friend (not close) of hers had a riding accident and how she hurt herself was by far the most horrific thing she (or I for the matter) have ever seen. At the time easy child was ok with it, I actually thought I had gotten her away from it before she saw it because she was so calm about it. I fell apart that night with husband and she was still ok with it. She had a couple of tears about her friend with concern and sadness and some dreams about it. She has ridden a couple of times since then jumping over the same jump with no problems, until last night.
    She and her pony had a difference of opinion over that same jump and she almost fell off. She continued through the night but seemed down. I thought it was because she and I had a disagreement before but as soon as she got in the car, she fell apart. She said it all came back to her what happened to her friend and she was terrified to jump that jump but because she kept making mistakes over it, her coach would make her do it again. She said nothing to anyone as that's just her personality. We talked about it, we reasoned through it, we went through everything I could think of to help her. She woke up this morning still in a haze.
    Is this all normal when witnessing something horrific? Is there something more I should be doing or saying to her? I told her I thought it would just take time but she spends four days in the same place where it happened so I don't know if that makes a difference. Any suggestions would be great.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey Christine! I'm sorry to hear about her friend. I think what I'd do is ask her coach for a sit down and discuss what's going on.

    It could be a little dose of PTSD going on. Think about it. This was her friend. Her friend was doing something sanctioned by adults. Her friend was doing something that easy child does. Her friend was seriously injured.

    Does it look like the friend will be permanently injured or show signs of full recovery?

    Right now (even though she might not even be aware of it) her faith in herself and the adults involved may be shaken. Kids tend to internalize that type of thing because they don't want to appear that they can handle it and that they trust us, but right now she's rethinking what she's doing.

    Once you talk to her coach, all 3 of you should sit down and discuss it. Make sure that the two of you validate her concerns and don't try and minimize how scary this sort of thing is to a kid her age. She's fragile right now and this could really help her cope.

    Let us know how it goes!

  3. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    Christine. I got chills when I read your post. My daughter also rides and what you described is my biggest fear. (I know nothing about horses and it all seems very scary to me.)

    Is you daughter's friend alright now?

    I think your daughter's reaction if pretty justified. Kind of like after an automobile accident, when every time you hear brakes screech you have that adreniline rush. But after a while, you react less and less. The accident was just last week, so it is very fresh in her mind. Give her time. I am sure her love for her little pony will win out over her fear and she will be her old confident self again.