My 12 yo difficult child daughter has been hospitalized four times and has had 2 partial hospitalizations. She used to live with me full time, but after major outburst (from her not me) and 5 unfounded allegations of abuse with Dept. Social Services she went to live with her dad fulltime. She was very angry and did not want anything to do with me/stepdad/stepsiblings for months. She is slowly integrating back into my household again and doing fairly well. This kid just hates rules at home. She is defiant, disobediant and totally explodes when we place limits and boundaries on her. She is actually beginning to have same issues at her dad's now that the novelty has worn off. When she is hospital she is a model kid with absolutely no behavioral issues. Same with school. She conforms to the structure and rules. I am so confused. She has diagnosis of ADHD so she should thrive at home with rules/structure. She just rebels. We are at the point where we realize she may not be able to stay in my home or her dad's home if she continues to explode. Does anyone have any suggestions. We are no way able to afford a private school...cost is 55k to 110k per year. Since she is not on IEP or having problems at school...per the school they will not help us out. HELP.