Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Big Bad Kitty, May 1, 2008.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    He may be my only hope!

    What a MELTDOWN!! OK, so Tink has a new obsession with Star Wars. This stems from a CD-Rom that she got for Christmas and just recently had been able to play. I have to say, the game is a lot of fun, and is really cute. It is Lego Star Wars.

    At any rate, I have allowed her to play a little before school and a little after school. Not a decision that is agreed with by many, but it works for us. She gets up, gets ready, and has time to play for awhile before school starts. So last night she gave me a major attitude because I asked her to pick up the hair band that she pulled out of her hair and threw on the floor in my room. Literally she began to throw a fit. I told her that she lost her game playing for this morning.

    Well this morning has been nothing but attempted negotiations, meltdowns, threats to run away, telling me to go ahead and throw away the game, she doesn't want it anyways, telling me I am mean, telling me that I am breaking her heart "because I know that Star Wars is in her heart", telling me that I made her lose the game, now she is bringing me all kinds of cute things that belong to her and telling me to get rid of them because she does not deserve them. Because she is acting mean and like a jerk.

    Someone give me George Lucas's address.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Heh heh.
    I know exactly how you feel.
    Just keep breathing.
    Is she off to school yet?
    All you can do is hold your ground and keep her grounded off the game until she has proven she can control herself and not be mean to you. My son has done that and giving me all his stuff is a combination of fury, frustration, self-loathing and lord knows what else. I have to admit it's given me an opportunity to get rid of things I absolutely hated, LOL! But mostly I keep everything safe, knowing he'll want it back again.
  3. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    She is so well spoken with her feelings, a bit of a blessing and a curse. I wish we could find the tone down button on their feelings, life would be so much easier. Hang in there.
  4. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Oh the injustice! You wanted her to pick something off the floor, how unfair! It is just how the difficult child mind works. Everything is done to them and they have no control over the terrrible consequences being imposed upon them by the evil dictator. It is amazing how things can escalate over something so small. This happens all the time in our house so I feel your pain! Hopefully she has made it to school and she returns, the force will be with you and calm will be restored in your universe.
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The wonderful obsession with video games. We have a do not play before school rule in our house, because difficult child would wake up and play. Did not think he needed to eat or get ready for school. Now he barely ever plays, and I do not miss him playing.

    Know what I love about school day mornings??? They get over rather quickly. Good luck
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    BBK, that's why I try to make punishments fit the crime. Her game playing wasn't the reason you needed to punish her, it was connected with her throwing the hair band on the floor in your room and not picking it up. So I would have chosen a punishment connected with hair bands, or picking things up. I might bring in "no game playing until you've done X..." perhaps, but not a cutback in game playing itself. Because all this has done, in her mind, is make you seem mean. Has it taught her to not be disrespectful, or to not throw things when she has a tantrum?

    I'm not sure of her routine - what would have happened if you had confiscated the hair band? Or is it a necessity? Maybe you could have made her vacuum the floors in the house, as punishment for making them untidy. Even if it turns out to be something she enjoyed - well, she doesn't have to misbehave to be "permitted" to vacuum the house, but as long as she learns the connection between "throwing stuff on floor" = "need to tidy the house".

    We've got the Lego Star Wars game too. difficult child 1 especially is a mine of information on EVERYTHING Star Wars. Soon after the last movie came out, there was an all-night screening of ALL the movies, in order of story sequence. difficult child 1 sat there waiting for it to start, swapping notes with other patrons in the cinema, and exchanging trivia. He quickly was discovered by the other patrons to be a mine of information.

    difficult child 1 takes it so far, indeed, that he has had his own Sith costume made; he and his best friend (who has had his own Jedi costume made) have choreographed their own fight scenes and can any time begin a light saber battle which can look quite spectacular. difficult child 1 has invented his own Sith name ("Darth Aquilus", because his favourite bird, the Aussie Wedge-Tailed Eagle, is scientifically known as Aquila audax).
    A few years ago Sydney's Powerhouse Museum had a Star Wars exhibition on and we took difficult child 1's friend with us. difficult child 1 and friend went in costume, and at one point had an impromptu light saber battle in the museum foyer. Not only were they NOT asked to leave, they had people asking them for their business card!

    With difficult child 1's upcoming wedding, it has been suggested (and not completely in jest, either) that they have a guard of honour, with Imperial guard (those red uniforms) with light sabers raised. As for the music at the end of the service - I strongly suspect they WILL use the triumphal march from the end of the first film.

    I kid you not.

    This is what you're in for, BBK.

    But it could be a lot worse. She could be hooked on "Alien". As in "Get away from her, you b****!"

    I can just imagine that going down well with her teacher.

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Ug! I've been there done that. The only thing you can do is weather the storm and not esculate things. I know... sometimes that is so very hard. I also found that kids who get stuck in a situation and can't let go often need a graceful way out of the situation. And often they need to feel they do have some control over the situation. For instance... I used to ground my kids but give time off for good behavior. -RM
  8. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I think some princess leia corn rolls are in order, sorry video games in general always seem to = melt down in one way shape or form with difficult child II
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hmmmmm - negotiate not with this young one you will. (insert light sabre sounds vrrrrrrt, vrrrrrrt, vrt,,,,,,,vrtttttt)

    The force is strong with her. (insert Anikan Skywalker inhale, exhale sounds)

    Lawyer she may be one day. Strong skills attempting to manipulate Mother I see. (insert milennium falcon light pulse sound) doot-do-doooo dooot-do doooo

    GET THE BOOK _ How to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk.
    (insert R2D2 gurlge) bloopeydoooooooppey doooooo
    It's like a difficult child rosetta stone - SWEAR.

    Book is strong companioned with the force you see.

    Must go now I - old and rest needs me.

    Yoda - Jedi MASTER - lol

  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    BBK-You sure have high expectations wanting to pick up her headband!;) Sorry you had to deal with such a meltdown!

    Star-You have rofl!
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Star, you KILL me!

    Thank you all, again, for your insight and advice.

    She got through the day. Even did her homework after school without any trouble before we played this evening. When she realized that I played during the time that I would normally be watching my show, she thanked me. I told her that when she shows appreciation, more likely than not she will get the things she desires.

    Then, I got what I desired. I big ol' Tinkerbell kiss.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I really like that you think to talk it thru with her, even when she's doing the "right" behavior. That is going to help her connect the dots as she moves along. Just takes our kids longer to connect those dots.