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Help me understand my bipolar friend
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 77931" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p><em>In this case you can be his friend and work with him, but you don't have to tolerate disrespectful or unproductive behavior.</em></p><p></p><p>Thanks, Susie, that is true. The problem is, when ever I want to talk about something, he's too tired (both physically and emotionally) and just wants to go to bed. I think he uses his bipolar issues as an excuse sometimes, a way of not dealing with-things he has to deal with-. It's like he doesn't even try.</p><p>And that ticks me off, because I see all of you working so hard on your issues, and I'm working on mine, doing medications, going to counseling, exercising, all that, and it's d*mn hard work.</p><p></p><p>He can deal with-things when he has to, say, the curator of a gallery when we have an appointment. from 9-2, but it's like at 2, the appointment ends and N. turns back into a pumpkin.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I should put him in the category of my friend, D., when she broke her wrist and I couldn't even be around her because it affected her whole attitude and I wanted to tell her to go on medications or something. But I knew that her issues would pass when her wrist healed. (And believe me, it has taken more than the full 8 wks of healing!!!)</p><p>His issues ... I don't know.</p><p></p><p>On one hand, I want to say "It's not my problem." on the other hand, he does need to be held accountable.</p><p></p><p><em>Why should others have to learn to deal with our crazy moodswings?</em></p><p></p><p>Good point, JMO. Except that being silly and happy and goofy are generally good things! I think that's what makes the "downs" even worse, because there's such a contrast.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I should view his moods more like my friend, G, who has lupus. Every day after lunch, she takes a nap. If you're in the middle of something incredibly stimulating, or intense, or fun, you say, "Don't go!" and she says, "Fine, but then I can't have dinner with-you and I will also sleep late in the a.m."</p><p></p><p>She knows her limits.</p><p>My friends sort of knows his. I just wish he'd be more regimented. Like, if he HAD to nap at exactly at 2 p.m. ea day, come h*ll or high water, I could handle that. But some days, you're in the middle of a project, or he's helping me with-my difficult child, either in person, or offering advice in email, and then he just drops off the face of the earth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 77931, member: 3419"] [i]In this case you can be his friend and work with him, but you don't have to tolerate disrespectful or unproductive behavior.[/i] Thanks, Susie, that is true. The problem is, when ever I want to talk about something, he's too tired (both physically and emotionally) and just wants to go to bed. I think he uses his bipolar issues as an excuse sometimes, a way of not dealing with-things he has to deal with-. It's like he doesn't even try. And that ticks me off, because I see all of you working so hard on your issues, and I'm working on mine, doing medications, going to counseling, exercising, all that, and it's d*mn hard work. He can deal with-things when he has to, say, the curator of a gallery when we have an appointment. from 9-2, but it's like at 2, the appointment ends and N. turns back into a pumpkin. Maybe I should put him in the category of my friend, D., when she broke her wrist and I couldn't even be around her because it affected her whole attitude and I wanted to tell her to go on medications or something. But I knew that her issues would pass when her wrist healed. (And believe me, it has taken more than the full 8 wks of healing!!!) His issues ... I don't know. On one hand, I want to say "It's not my problem." on the other hand, he does need to be held accountable. [i]Why should others have to learn to deal with our crazy moodswings?[/i] Good point, JMO. Except that being silly and happy and goofy are generally good things! I think that's what makes the "downs" even worse, because there's such a contrast. Maybe I should view his moods more like my friend, G, who has lupus. Every day after lunch, she takes a nap. If you're in the middle of something incredibly stimulating, or intense, or fun, you say, "Don't go!" and she says, "Fine, but then I can't have dinner with-you and I will also sleep late in the a.m." She knows her limits. My friends sort of knows his. I just wish he'd be more regimented. Like, if he HAD to nap at exactly at 2 p.m. ea day, come h*ll or high water, I could handle that. But some days, you're in the middle of a project, or he's helping me with-my difficult child, either in person, or offering advice in email, and then he just drops off the face of the earth. [/QUOTE]
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