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Help! Month long visit only half over....
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 19322" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>husband's mother is here for the month.</p><p></p><p>I am actually basically still functional?</p><p></p><p>husband is a basket case.</p><p></p><p>He is frustrated, locked into chilodhood power struggle kinds of things, and resentful. (We knew he would feel this way going in. As much as he did not want to do this, he felt that he SHOULD have his mom here and out of the really cold Minnesota winter.)</p><p></p><p>We still have ten (count 'em, ten) days to go.</p><p></p><p>Initially, husband was as cold and nasty to BOTH his mother and myself as I have ever seen him. Last night, that particular dam broke, and I got him to admit his true feelings about everything. Today, he seems more focused.</p><p></p><p>He is just so resentful ~ the other side of that is that he feels he SHOULD do this for his mother.</p><p></p><p>What I told him is that we are in it now, but that next year, the visit will be for only ten days.</p><p></p><p>What I need from you all are your experiences in these matters.</p><p></p><p>I set my computer up in my closet before the mother got here. I just come in here and close the door. I go practice karate and am soon to begin a Tai Chi class. So, I am providing time for myself to myself. husband refuses to do this. He grits his teeth and spends every minute either resenting that he is with his mom or trying to escape. He admits that he needs a day (at least!) for himself, but refuses to do anything about it. When I ask him why, what he says is that he has alot on his mind ~ money, food, activities. I told him (this was last night) that tomorrow was Sunday. There IS nothing to do about making money on a Sunday, we were having turkey for dinner, and we are staying home today and doing nothing because it is cold out.</p><p></p><p>He refuses to go out without the mother, and is focusing his resentments on me to the extent that I am thinking about what I need, and what I am not getting, in this marriage.</p><p></p><p>Any suggestions?</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 19322, member: 3353"] husband's mother is here for the month. I am actually basically still functional? husband is a basket case. He is frustrated, locked into chilodhood power struggle kinds of things, and resentful. (We knew he would feel this way going in. As much as he did not want to do this, he felt that he SHOULD have his mom here and out of the really cold Minnesota winter.) We still have ten (count 'em, ten) days to go. Initially, husband was as cold and nasty to BOTH his mother and myself as I have ever seen him. Last night, that particular dam broke, and I got him to admit his true feelings about everything. Today, he seems more focused. He is just so resentful ~ the other side of that is that he feels he SHOULD do this for his mother. What I told him is that we are in it now, but that next year, the visit will be for only ten days. What I need from you all are your experiences in these matters. I set my computer up in my closet before the mother got here. I just come in here and close the door. I go practice karate and am soon to begin a Tai Chi class. So, I am providing time for myself to myself. husband refuses to do this. He grits his teeth and spends every minute either resenting that he is with his mom or trying to escape. He admits that he needs a day (at least!) for himself, but refuses to do anything about it. When I ask him why, what he says is that he has alot on his mind ~ money, food, activities. I told him (this was last night) that tomorrow was Sunday. There IS nothing to do about making money on a Sunday, we were having turkey for dinner, and we are staying home today and doing nothing because it is cold out. He refuses to go out without the mother, and is focusing his resentments on me to the extent that I am thinking about what I need, and what I am not getting, in this marriage. Any suggestions? Barbara [/QUOTE]
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