Higher power is in old terms God it can be anything they are mostly non denominational non religious. I do not believe in God per se. I do go to Naranon.Atheist. This is a small town where almost all the social networking here goes through the church and I inadvertently offended everyone within the first week and put a big black spot on us. But another reason I wanted to find something other than al anon because they often have a large emphasis on God and religion and she would never take it seriously from the get go.
Then again, maybe if she can by some miracle find something to believe in other than the bottle then maybe I might convert myself!
Your higher power can be a doorknob. AlANON is for you. AAA is for the alcoholic. I do understand that the higher power thing is off putting to some. You need to find something for you. Find a CODA meeting. It is for codependents and you are very much mired in that scenero....most of us have been.