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Substance Abuse
Help: my 23 year old daughter is stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="ButterflyGirl" data-source="post: 718795" data-attributes="member: 22263"><p>I used to give my cards to her to do family shopping before I had any notion of what was going on. I started to suspect something and asked her to get receipts of each shop, and everything came back normal. I later found out she was doing two shops - running alcohol through separately and throwing away only some of the receipts. I started giving her cash instead so I could expect all the correct change, but it seems she's snuck into my room and stolen my card from my purse, used it, then placed it back before I noticed. She started stealing cash as well so I had to start hiding it - I bought a jewellery safe and put my purse in there, but recently I found a video on the computer where she had placed a camera hidden behind some clothes and filmed me putting the code in so she's had access to it this whole time. I just feel like an idiot and I have nowhere to hide.</p><p></p><p>We don't let her drive our car anymore (she crashed it into our house while trying to drive after drinking and it cost $4000 to repair - my husband claimed responsibility to protect her from a DUI), but she'll sneak out at night, take the keys and buy alcohol from somewhere after 1am. Sometimes I wonder if she has a car we don't know about that she leaves parked up somewhere.</p><p></p><p>We don't give her any money. I keep telling her if she wants money she needs to get a job - even a part time one for a few hours each week - just like the rest of us. I'm convinced that if she got a job, the stealing would stop. But at the same time, I don't want her getting a job just to blow all the money on liquor.</p><p></p><p>She's our only child.</p><p></p><p>Of course I don't want to be living like this in my 80s, but I could never forgive myself if I turned 80 and she was in prison. I feel like I've failed as a parent. We did everything right, we poured so much into her. If she'd spent half the effort she puts into drinking and stealing into something productive, she could have been working for the FBI or SEC by now. She's such a bright girl but she's wasting her life and its killing me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ButterflyGirl, post: 718795, member: 22263"] I used to give my cards to her to do family shopping before I had any notion of what was going on. I started to suspect something and asked her to get receipts of each shop, and everything came back normal. I later found out she was doing two shops - running alcohol through separately and throwing away only some of the receipts. I started giving her cash instead so I could expect all the correct change, but it seems she's snuck into my room and stolen my card from my purse, used it, then placed it back before I noticed. She started stealing cash as well so I had to start hiding it - I bought a jewellery safe and put my purse in there, but recently I found a video on the computer where she had placed a camera hidden behind some clothes and filmed me putting the code in so she's had access to it this whole time. I just feel like an idiot and I have nowhere to hide. We don't let her drive our car anymore (she crashed it into our house while trying to drive after drinking and it cost $4000 to repair - my husband claimed responsibility to protect her from a DUI), but she'll sneak out at night, take the keys and buy alcohol from somewhere after 1am. Sometimes I wonder if she has a car we don't know about that she leaves parked up somewhere. We don't give her any money. I keep telling her if she wants money she needs to get a job - even a part time one for a few hours each week - just like the rest of us. I'm convinced that if she got a job, the stealing would stop. But at the same time, I don't want her getting a job just to blow all the money on liquor. She's our only child. Of course I don't want to be living like this in my 80s, but I could never forgive myself if I turned 80 and she was in prison. I feel like I've failed as a parent. We did everything right, we poured so much into her. If she'd spent half the effort she puts into drinking and stealing into something productive, she could have been working for the FBI or SEC by now. She's such a bright girl but she's wasting her life and its killing me. [/QUOTE]
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Help: my 23 year old daughter is stealing
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