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Help!! Need advice about my 18 year old son!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 657693" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You don't really have to deal with the kids on your caseload. I'm sure plenty of parents can't deal with their kids and it's not their faults just like this isn't your fault. Good for you for not paying him to mow the lawn. To me that is insane. He is old enough to work and get his own money.</p><p></p><p>He is angry because you did not do what he wanted. Trust me, if you give them what they want, as if you were the kid and he the parent, they just get worse and worse as they get older...and angrier and angrier if you don't let them do nothing at all and throw money at them. The earlier you start setting adult boundaries (and I would for any 18 year old who is no longer in school), the sooner he'll get the message that he either pulls his weight and gets a job or he will not have a very exciting life. I think the earlier you start, the easier it is to get the point across. That doesn't mean that your kid won't hate you for it, but they have a better chance of recovering and becoming productive if you start young, in my opinion. Most of them eventually find some way to survive. You can't take care of him forever.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it should not e on his terms but on your terms. If it isn't, again in my opinion it's not good for you OR for him. He is too young to be YOUR boss and you'll be sorry later if you let him do it now. You really have no idea what kind of things he is doing when he isn't around you, but you do know he isn't working and he is acting like you should let him do what he wants (treat him like an adult) yet he won't do what adults do (work).</p><p></p><p>Hugs and I'm sorry for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 657693, member: 1550"] You don't really have to deal with the kids on your caseload. I'm sure plenty of parents can't deal with their kids and it's not their faults just like this isn't your fault. Good for you for not paying him to mow the lawn. To me that is insane. He is old enough to work and get his own money. He is angry because you did not do what he wanted. Trust me, if you give them what they want, as if you were the kid and he the parent, they just get worse and worse as they get older...and angrier and angrier if you don't let them do nothing at all and throw money at them. The earlier you start setting adult boundaries (and I would for any 18 year old who is no longer in school), the sooner he'll get the message that he either pulls his weight and gets a job or he will not have a very exciting life. I think the earlier you start, the easier it is to get the point across. That doesn't mean that your kid won't hate you for it, but they have a better chance of recovering and becoming productive if you start young, in my opinion. Most of them eventually find some way to survive. You can't take care of him forever. in my opinion it should not e on his terms but on your terms. If it isn't, again in my opinion it's not good for you OR for him. He is too young to be YOUR boss and you'll be sorry later if you let him do it now. You really have no idea what kind of things he is doing when he isn't around you, but you do know he isn't working and he is acting like you should let him do what he wants (treat him like an adult) yet he won't do what adults do (work). Hugs and I'm sorry for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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Help!! Need advice about my 18 year old son!
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