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HELP please child w ODD &ADHD
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<blockquote data-quote="ma2sevn" data-source="post: 73267" data-attributes="member: 4056"><p>hi, my first posting here too. One of the things that has helped me the most when I have been in the trenches with my ODD kid was validation. Others seeing what I was saying helped me know it wasnt just me. The school has been very helpful, I wont bore you with all the different IEP's we have modified to get us to this place of success..(its working for now anyway). At times I thought I hated this child, especially while having to restrain him and him raging and trying to bite me. He gets mad and becomes destructive, and combative, at home and at school. I am always trying to encourage bonding and attachment but I didnt feel very loving to him alot of times. Respite has become part of our lives and I dont feel guilty about it either..we need a break from the adrenaline and drama. And he isnt our only child with issues, but he is the siren that usually gets the most action. The whole family has to shift when he is "going off", but we dont allow him to have all the attention. We have a whole team of supports..school, therapist, psychiatrists, respite providers, and we have been picking through different ideas and medications for about 4 years. It is trial and error. The Explosive Child (book) is a great resource and has helped us change US instead of focusing on him as much. Your friend has to be able to ensure safety too, again the supports can help with that. I have learned to make time for the other kids as well as myself and us as a couple. But for your friend just starting out, she needs lots of help I think. I remember feeling like I was in such a dark anxiety ridden place with my oldest daughter years ago. It was like I had to crawl out of a pit, and actually God was the only way I made it. i wasnt super spiritul, I was holding on. I got myself some medications too. We dont have staff or anything like that, so if I made this sound like we have it all organized, we dont. We just try to keep going. But I am alot closer to managing all of it these years down the road. Well, I may have taken up too much space. Hope you get something out of all this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ma2sevn, post: 73267, member: 4056"] hi, my first posting here too. One of the things that has helped me the most when I have been in the trenches with my ODD kid was validation. Others seeing what I was saying helped me know it wasnt just me. The school has been very helpful, I wont bore you with all the different IEP's we have modified to get us to this place of success..(its working for now anyway). At times I thought I hated this child, especially while having to restrain him and him raging and trying to bite me. He gets mad and becomes destructive, and combative, at home and at school. I am always trying to encourage bonding and attachment but I didnt feel very loving to him alot of times. Respite has become part of our lives and I dont feel guilty about it either..we need a break from the adrenaline and drama. And he isnt our only child with issues, but he is the siren that usually gets the most action. The whole family has to shift when he is "going off", but we dont allow him to have all the attention. We have a whole team of supports..school, therapist, psychiatrists, respite providers, and we have been picking through different ideas and medications for about 4 years. It is trial and error. The Explosive Child (book) is a great resource and has helped us change US instead of focusing on him as much. Your friend has to be able to ensure safety too, again the supports can help with that. I have learned to make time for the other kids as well as myself and us as a couple. But for your friend just starting out, she needs lots of help I think. I remember feeling like I was in such a dark anxiety ridden place with my oldest daughter years ago. It was like I had to crawl out of a pit, and actually God was the only way I made it. i wasnt super spiritul, I was holding on. I got myself some medications too. We dont have staff or anything like that, so if I made this sound like we have it all organized, we dont. We just try to keep going. But I am alot closer to managing all of it these years down the road. Well, I may have taken up too much space. Hope you get something out of all this. [/QUOTE]
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