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Help! Possible rape or sexual abuse...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 691225" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Oh Dear.</p><p></p><p>I think what I would do is start with what you know is going on, factually, by your own eyes or the police.</p><p></p><p>Known:</p><p></p><p>Illegal drinking.</p><p>Lying.</p><p>Deception by her, and deception by her friends.</p><p></p><p>Likely:</p><p></p><p>It is likely that some sexual behavior or intercourse did. </p><p>If it did, that could be a reason she is claiming rape. Or not. </p><p></p><p>Possible: </p><p></p><p>If she does not come clean about what happened, I do not see how you can proceed based on rape. Or perhaps you can talk to the police and get advice.</p><p></p><p>I think you have to address the stuff you know is happening, the known, by greatly limiting her freedom. If it was me, I would not allow her out at all at night. I would not believe one thing she says. I would lock up any alcohol in the house. And that is a start.</p><p></p><p>I would think about restricting privileges, like phone, etc.</p><p></p><p>I would find out the name of the parents who hosted the party at which alcohol was made available to underage kids. I would think about what to do. Maybe google to find out what other parents do. Or do a search here. </p><p></p><p>I can think of several possible courses of action:</p><p></p><p>Call the parents whose house it was.</p><p>Call the other parents (pressure daughter for names.)</p><p>Ask at school what to do. (the dean)</p><p></p><p>I would make it extremely unpleasant for daughter and I would very forcefully limit her options to do this again, until you get her attention.</p><p></p><p>I would also google (look here on CD) about possible rape, by doing a search.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this has happened. How is her intelligence, social intelligence? Is she somebody who could be easily taken advantage of? If this is so, I might get the school involved. Does she have an IEP? I see your older granddaughter on your signature is described with issues. What about this one?</p><p></p><p>I would worry about the kids she is with. My niece at not much more than this age became a binge alcoholic. Her mother, my sister, did not know until her daughter was in her first year of college. Her twin (more sophisticated and capable) helped conceal it from my sister because she said she thought it "was no big deal." This was in one of the country's most affluent areas. </p><p></p><p>Something is greatly wrong with this picture. Too many people are overlooking too many things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 691225, member: 18958"] Oh Dear. I think what I would do is start with what you know is going on, factually, by your own eyes or the police. Known: Illegal drinking. Lying. Deception by her, and deception by her friends. Likely: It is likely that some sexual behavior or intercourse did. If it did, that could be a reason she is claiming rape. Or not. Possible: If she does not come clean about what happened, I do not see how you can proceed based on rape. Or perhaps you can talk to the police and get advice. I think you have to address the stuff you know is happening, the known, by greatly limiting her freedom. If it was me, I would not allow her out at all at night. I would not believe one thing she says. I would lock up any alcohol in the house. And that is a start. I would think about restricting privileges, like phone, etc. I would find out the name of the parents who hosted the party at which alcohol was made available to underage kids. I would think about what to do. Maybe google to find out what other parents do. Or do a search here. I can think of several possible courses of action: Call the parents whose house it was. Call the other parents (pressure daughter for names.) Ask at school what to do. (the dean) I would make it extremely unpleasant for daughter and I would very forcefully limit her options to do this again, until you get her attention. I would also google (look here on CD) about possible rape, by doing a search. I am sorry this has happened. How is her intelligence, social intelligence? Is she somebody who could be easily taken advantage of? If this is so, I might get the school involved. Does she have an IEP? I see your older granddaughter on your signature is described with issues. What about this one? I would worry about the kids she is with. My niece at not much more than this age became a binge alcoholic. Her mother, my sister, did not know until her daughter was in her first year of college. Her twin (more sophisticated and capable) helped conceal it from my sister because she said she thought it "was no big deal." This was in one of the country's most affluent areas. Something is greatly wrong with this picture. Too many people are overlooking too many things. [/QUOTE]
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