Help son expelled from kindergarten

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by prettywingz, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. prettywingz

    prettywingz New Member

    I'm new here I have lurked here and there. My son is 5 years old and he has been suspended for the third time in 3 weeks. He has only attended school maybe 3 times this month. He was diagnosed with anxiety from one Dr, but the Dr passed and we were just getting started with his diagnosis. The new Dr diagnosed him with odd and said medications would not work. My son has been aggressive in school. He has escalated to hitting other students. He usually starts with knocking things off of the desk then when the teacher threatens to move his clip down on the chart he gets over the top and has hit other children the teacher has restrained him and when she is holding him down he kicks and fights back. Today he became upset and knocked his work off of his desk and the teacher grabbed him he started kicking and hitting and he accidentally hit a student walking by. I know this time it was an accident because he said it was when asked, he usually says he doesn't know or he was tired. He has been on tenex 1/2 pill in morning half in the afternoon and Cloisonne pill to sleep at night. Today he started a whole pill in the morning and half at night. I requested an evaluation so that we can get him an iep. The school.said that he is on the list, he will be evaluated when his,name comes up, but in the,meantime they don't know what to do and they are starting expulsion proceedings. They said they don't have to accommodate him without an iep. They said they don't have to educate him until he is 8. I don't know what to do. He goes to a charter schools.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Are you in the US?
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would NOT give Tenex in the AM or during the day.....very sleepy!! See if you can switch this to night time!
  4. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Charter schools are public schools, but they don't have to accommodate our kids. When I read;
    I requested an evaluation so that we can get him an iep. The school.said that he is on the list, he will be evaluated when his,name comes up, but in the,meantime they don't know what to do and they are starting expulsion proceedings. I may be wrong, but I think they only have 45 or 60 days to complete the testing from the date of your written request. It may be different with a charter though.
    Read more:

  5. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    If you are in the US, and have requested an evaluation (hopefully in writing sent certified) they cannot hold an expulsion hearing until evaluations are done, and there is no such thing as "waiting for his name" to come up on some list. They have a time line they have to follow once the request for testing is made.

  6. prettywingz

    prettywingz New Member

    Yes I'm in the US. I asked them today how can they evaluate him if they keep putting him out of school and I told them that they only have 60 days. It has only been about 30 now. They then told me he is,on a list and they can't move any faster, he has to wait until his name comes up. They are upset because other parents are complaining. I understand, I would be upset if my kid was being hit, but he has recently escalated to hitting , but he mainly hits and kicks when they grab him to restrain him. They are not trained in the proper restraints and they restrain him so that he won't knock items off the desk. That's his favorite thing to do when upset, knock e seething off the desk. I must say that when the Dr took him off of medications, he was throwing chairs, but now he will push his chair or knock things off of the desk or run out,of the classroom. I don't know.if this is good or bad. He said today was a mistake the girl walked by while the teacher was restraining him, this is what the school said, but they said he targeted the girl. They said that he acts out for no reason at all. Out of nowhere they say. I know Mt son and I know that he doesn't just walk in a room and decided to hit someone or have an episode. there is usually a trigger. The school is worried about the other parents. They ask me for advice and then look at me like on crazy when I give it to them. I am do frustrated. I can't even go to work and work efficiently because on getting disciplined for having to.leave all the time, so when I Am at work and send him to school, I sit there all day watching my phone worried that they will call again. I am beginning to develop anxiety myself.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You need an advocate. I have used advocates from organizations and most recently and most effectively I have been using legal aid. There is a division for people with disabilities and then it is divided into subjects so I have a legal advocate from the educational rights division. You can look in your state for legal aid and see if they have that and let them know it is an emergency, kids who are about to be moved from their school placements are generally prioritized higher.

    OK, next subject. Federal guidelines state a limit and states either follow that or have a shorter time line. Our state does much shorter. They have no choice legally to get the evaluation done but if they are within their dates your son still can not be kicked out. Any child suspected of having a disability is allowed to remain in placement (stay put rule) and if they can't handle him then they can provide home bound instruction.

    Please make sure you requested the evaluation in writing or have some proof that they received it on a certain date so you can follow the time line.

    The law covers kids even when suspected of having special needs.

    from writeslaw:

  8. prettywingz

    prettywingz New Member

    I told them this because I read that online it also says that that can't punish him excessively and serial suspensions is excessive. They told me he isn't protected until he gets an evaluation and iep. I think they think that because on a single mother that I will believe anything.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    yup, that's it....Look, I've been a special education professional since 1987 and I still bring an advocate. They just need to know they can't get away with that stuff, and of course they will try.
  11. prettywingz

    prettywingz New Member

    Well I spent the day calling every agency that I could think to call. I left,messages, no one answered. As far as legal aid I looked at the income guidelines on the website and I make too much income. I may call anyway and see what they say. I told his father that we may,need a lawyer. His father who hasn't seen him since August, said that's unneccessary that our son just,needs to straighten up and act right. He is of no help. He lives in another reality. I sometimes believe that he has aspbergers to go along with his bipolar. Everything is black or white with him. No inbetween.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    In our state the legal aide represents the child, and a.child generally has zero income.

    and yeah, your description sounds a little Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) ish to me too....
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2012
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Did you call your state ministry of education?
    In some states, they have public advocates, or at least lists of approved ones...
  14. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Get an advocate!! As far as I know, charter schools get federal education money so they are bound by the same rules and timelines as regular public schools. You REALLY need to find your copy of your written request for evaluations. They are wrong about "not being covered until he's got an IEP". He's covered fromt the day they receive the written request. They are trying to bully you out of the school because they don't want to have to deal with him. And the line about not having to educate him until he is 8 is baloney.

    As for the Tenex, absolutely it can be causing him to act like this. He IS tired. That is one of the major side effects (besides lower blood pressure) of that medication. There is no way you should be giving it to him during the day.

    Let me explain the scenario you just shared from your son's perspective. He gets frustrated over something and can't handle it so he pushes everything off his desk. The adults around him don't like that so they try to punish him by moving the clip down but all that does is makes his anxiety even worse because now he's losing whatever the reward is. So now, not only is he frustrated by the initial problem, they add another problem on. He doesn't know what else to do so he lashes out. It's not intentional but he needs to "vent" somehow and he doesn't know how. Because he's lashed out, he's being grabbed and pinned down by big scary adults that weigh a ton and probably have bad breath (those are the two biggest things that set difficult child 1 off big time). Nature's fight or flight (definition of anxiety) kicks in and he does all he can to get them to let him go so he can run. He needs to escape all the issues that he's just been bombarded with. That is the only thing his little brain can do at that point.

    Just because I have been through this almost verbatim with difficult child 1, I can tell you your son is going to end up with PTSD from this school if he is made to stay there without help to survive. Personally, I would pull him out of school for now (while you still legally can), get an accurate diagnosis, get appropriate medications regulated, request Special Education evaluations from your district (it will fall under pre-school), and send him back to Kindergarten next year at a different school with an IEP in place. That is what I should have done but didn't. I didn't know any better and difficult child 1 ended up paying the price over the period of 7 years. My concern is for what all this is going to do to your difficult child. If you do these things now, he'll be in a MUCH better place for years to come. I've lived along the road you're going to head down.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh gosh that reminds son has been in classes with red light systems, clips on charts etc. They increase his behaviors because they increase his anxiety and frustration as well as lowering his self esteem. Once they get put on the "bad" spot what's the point of trying? And if they don't have the skills to do better then just saying do better is crazy making!

    I worked in a charter school. The exact same laws apply. Charter schools may have a focus that does not match the needs of a child though so you need to think about even if you force them to do what they legally have to do, will it be worth it? In the end an IEP and behavior plan only work if people truly follow it and care.

    My son takes clonidine which is in the same family as tenex and he does take it during the day. Everyone is different. But many of us have had medications increase aggression and while you can't suddenly stop tenex its worth a thought as to whether or not for your son it is making him worse. Tenex didn't work for my son but Clonidine does. Huge difference.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You're calling the wrong places to get an advocate. I've done it twice. You need to call your state's department of public education, usually located in the capital of your state. It is a FREE service and all states have them. You probably have a particular advocate assigned to the area you live in. An advocate will not blow you off or tell you to wait patiently. They are in your corner and school districts work faster and better because they are afraid of t hem, which is a good thing.

    Sounds like a charter school may be a very bad fit for your child. To be honest, if a kid were hitting and throwing chairs around my children (and I have difficult children) I would probably complain too. I don't want my kids to get hurt in school, even if the other child can not really help it. There are schools and classrooms for children who act out and your son may do best in a smaller environment with teachers who are used to children who act out and know what to do. Or maybe, if your advocate is very good, you can get him a one-on-one aide, but he still may do better in a more conventional school. When my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son was not learning in his school setting, hub and I looked at other schools for a good fit for him. The school HAS to provide a free and appropriate public education for every child so if your school district doesn't have good schooling for your son's issues, they have to send him to one that does...on THEIR dime and THEIR transportation. This is what happened with my son and he's nineteen now and doing great. You need to fight hard and not be afraid of the school personnel and also not be timid toward them. The advocate will help you.
    Good luck!
  17. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    TeDo seems to give good advice, based on experience, and the idea that your son could be in an environment where his difficulties are understood and worked with certainly seems VERY desirable. I'm sorry you are facing all this... must be scary for both adults and child. I hope you can get the evaluations and resulting help as quickly as possible.
  18. Cheerwyn

    Cheerwyn New Member

    I read here, but don't post very often.
    I just wanted to suggest that if he's at a charter school, that means he's zoned for a "regular" public school in your area. You may want to contact the school district (either the Special Education or Charter School office) to see what your options or rights are. It may be that the school district needs to get involved to ensure your son gets services.
  19. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    Nope, mine is on 3/4 a pill of tenex in the morning and that's it. We started at night, didn't see any results, gave her another/second dose in the morning, it worked, but because she was too tired, we made her take it in the morning only. 1/2 pill was what seemed right at first, then I think she got used to it, we upped it to 3/4. I'm sure we'll have to up it again eventually.
  20. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    They are lying to you. As soon as you requested the Special Education evaluation, he became a protected child under federal law.

    What state are you in?