J
Jakesdaddy1120
Guest
Hi everyone this is my first time trying to reach out for outside help other than my doctor so please bare with me. Im a 25yr old father of 4(3 boys 1 girl) 3of which live with me and my oldest boy(8) live with his mother. We'll start off when pthe roblems started, when my son Jacob was born he is my 3rd child and he is about 2 and a half now, his mother got post-pardon depression about 3-4 months after he was born. At this time I was working as a welder 7am to 4ish pm, at about 3 months he started to only take to me he couldn't be consoled nor feed by anyone else. We tried everything to get him to eat or even fall asleep with his mother and it was just a big mess. I started to feed him before work, then on my lunch break Id rush home to feed him and return to work. It got to the point were I had condensed both of my 15 min breaks so I could make one more trip home a day so I was working Non stop with out breaks or eating myself... this because a big hazard to myself as Jacob also woke up at around 2am every night and cried nonstop for about an hour or more some nights nothing could console him at 2am not a bottle nor singing and rocking him to sleep, I was only getting about 2-4 asleep a day( and mom was always sleeping due to her depression) I started to fall asleep while driving to work all the time (my doctor called these micro naps) and hurting myself at work due to my lack of judgment, but still maintained my quaility work so I was never fried my bosses were very understanding when I put my 2 week notice in as they were very supportive during this time and told me when I felt everything was under control I could come back. So this is when I decided I was gonna be a stay at home dad till everything fell back into place...... I consulted my doctor many times about the issues I was having I will list them off as I go along
- 6 months-
-still putting jacob to bed every night
-waking up at 2 am for 1-1 1/2 of un consolable crying
-only using hospital nipples on bottle spent over $70 on nipples in one day to find another nipple to suite him had to go to hospital and ask so a big bag of the nipples
-cry when someone else tries to feed or even hold him
At this point my doctor told me Jacob was colic and there was nothing I could but change his formula, put him on gas drops and medications for acid reflux......
-9 months -
- all above mentioned issues still remained
-now anytime i left the room he would cry till i came back Im a smoker and smoke OUTSIDE only so he would crawl to my screen door and watch me till I came in
-Mom is on Lexipro and Clodipins for depression and anxiety making a little effort to help but in my option he barely knows his mom at this point.
- at family functions, places with lots of people or when company is over Jacob screams for his life at everyone and only wants me
Again I spoke with my doctor about my concerns and he continues to reassure me that babys can be colic till 1 years old
-1 years old -
-jakes walking and says a few words
-2am crying is very rare and is easy fix with a kiss and sitting with him till he falls asleep
-starting to open up to other from a distance but is very playful and sweet in his own environment
- had mom enroll in mommy and me singing classes to try and create a better bond and separate me and him for time apart( doctors idea).... didn't work moms lexipro was increased
-mom is pregnant sleeping more again
-1 1/2 -2years old -
-speech is still behind and making Jacob frustrated but understands everything you ask him
- started sleeping in a toddlers bed at 1 1/2 yrs old went very smooth at first then a month later every went south again he would get up after I left the room and scream for about 5-10min them go back to sleep, other nights Id have to rock him back to sleep this I believe to be normal though
-doesnt want much to due with children his age and only plays with older brother, older sister and him dont get along
- starts to show signs of autism( my bother even notice it as did others) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) not sure if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is possible at this age but very strong signs of it
-still is very atached to me and jealous of new baby Mathew
-It becomes hard for me to spend any time with mathew due to Jacobs jealousy
Back to the doctors and had him schedule appointment with Early Intervention they were very booked by the time the appointment was scheduled (1 month has passed) and Jacobs speech picks up so we decided we would hold off (bad idea)
Which brings me to now Jacob is 2 1/2 years old, his speech is ok but i believe is behind, I tried potty training at 2yrs old that started to work untill one day he decided that was a not going to happen, I would like to try again but with all the stress of just trying to keep him happy or in other sense sane it seems impossible. He is still sleeping in his own room but insist that I sit with him till he falls asleep or some nights lay with him (Im about 5'11'' 200lbs medium to large build so laying in a Buzz Lightyear toddler bed sucks and is verrrry hard to do). He also WILL not go to sleep if there is anything out of place in his room which is kinda nice because his room is always spotless but if something as little as a toy out of the toy box or a pair a pants on his dresser is out of place it is game over till this issue is fixed then he must be tucked in accordingly spread Thomas the Train blanky then a small Cars blanky(Thomas can be switched with Spiderman with no issues BUT Never the Cars Blanky) and juice cup to the left never the right for some reason (he doesnt drink his juice cup but it has to be there for some reason) and binki. Some other things that concern me is he still is my sidekick were every I go and at home I have to do everything or be the last one to touch what he wants. Example if his binki falls or he cant find it he will trow a fight and if someone esle tries to help him by giving him on he with continue his fit till I take it from him or whoever was trying to help and give it back to him this applys to many this, also applies that I have to walk upstairs and hold his hand or carry him down the stairs. I still feel like he is frustrated with not being able to communicate with me properly, he tried so hard but its as if he cant get it out. He also uses words such as puppy, doggy and monkey inplace of objects that he knows their name example a vacuum is a puppy, so is my drill but he knows there names but refuses to use them. He is very good with his brother Mathew but sometimes he will yell at me to "PUT BABY DOOWWN" and demand I hold him. Im struggling to make it by mentally and I would appreciate some help or info not to mention my oldest sons mother is taking me to court for unpaid child support for the last 6month(She doesnt have him her mother does but for some reason Im still supposed to pay her $97 a week she is also not allowed to have contact with him without my or her mother supervision )and the judge is threatening to put me in jail for 6 months, Ive tried to explain my situation with Jacob and still feels that I should put him in daycare or leave him home with mom (neither options I feel safe doing) The more time that goes by I still feel he is learning disabled or autistic I dont know what to do Im running out of time and ideas. I fear the worse if I do goto jail that my son will be lost with out me and have no one to take care of him like I do or have the patience to do so please if you have any info reply
- 6 months-
-still putting jacob to bed every night
-waking up at 2 am for 1-1 1/2 of un consolable crying
-only using hospital nipples on bottle spent over $70 on nipples in one day to find another nipple to suite him had to go to hospital and ask so a big bag of the nipples
-cry when someone else tries to feed or even hold him
At this point my doctor told me Jacob was colic and there was nothing I could but change his formula, put him on gas drops and medications for acid reflux......
-9 months -
- all above mentioned issues still remained
-now anytime i left the room he would cry till i came back Im a smoker and smoke OUTSIDE only so he would crawl to my screen door and watch me till I came in
-Mom is on Lexipro and Clodipins for depression and anxiety making a little effort to help but in my option he barely knows his mom at this point.
- at family functions, places with lots of people or when company is over Jacob screams for his life at everyone and only wants me
Again I spoke with my doctor about my concerns and he continues to reassure me that babys can be colic till 1 years old
-1 years old -
-jakes walking and says a few words
-2am crying is very rare and is easy fix with a kiss and sitting with him till he falls asleep
-starting to open up to other from a distance but is very playful and sweet in his own environment
- had mom enroll in mommy and me singing classes to try and create a better bond and separate me and him for time apart( doctors idea).... didn't work moms lexipro was increased
-mom is pregnant sleeping more again
-1 1/2 -2years old -
-speech is still behind and making Jacob frustrated but understands everything you ask him
- started sleeping in a toddlers bed at 1 1/2 yrs old went very smooth at first then a month later every went south again he would get up after I left the room and scream for about 5-10min them go back to sleep, other nights Id have to rock him back to sleep this I believe to be normal though
-doesnt want much to due with children his age and only plays with older brother, older sister and him dont get along
- starts to show signs of autism( my bother even notice it as did others) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) not sure if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is possible at this age but very strong signs of it
-still is very atached to me and jealous of new baby Mathew
-It becomes hard for me to spend any time with mathew due to Jacobs jealousy
Back to the doctors and had him schedule appointment with Early Intervention they were very booked by the time the appointment was scheduled (1 month has passed) and Jacobs speech picks up so we decided we would hold off (bad idea)
Which brings me to now Jacob is 2 1/2 years old, his speech is ok but i believe is behind, I tried potty training at 2yrs old that started to work untill one day he decided that was a not going to happen, I would like to try again but with all the stress of just trying to keep him happy or in other sense sane it seems impossible. He is still sleeping in his own room but insist that I sit with him till he falls asleep or some nights lay with him (Im about 5'11'' 200lbs medium to large build so laying in a Buzz Lightyear toddler bed sucks and is verrrry hard to do). He also WILL not go to sleep if there is anything out of place in his room which is kinda nice because his room is always spotless but if something as little as a toy out of the toy box or a pair a pants on his dresser is out of place it is game over till this issue is fixed then he must be tucked in accordingly spread Thomas the Train blanky then a small Cars blanky(Thomas can be switched with Spiderman with no issues BUT Never the Cars Blanky) and juice cup to the left never the right for some reason (he doesnt drink his juice cup but it has to be there for some reason) and binki. Some other things that concern me is he still is my sidekick were every I go and at home I have to do everything or be the last one to touch what he wants. Example if his binki falls or he cant find it he will trow a fight and if someone esle tries to help him by giving him on he with continue his fit till I take it from him or whoever was trying to help and give it back to him this applys to many this, also applies that I have to walk upstairs and hold his hand or carry him down the stairs. I still feel like he is frustrated with not being able to communicate with me properly, he tried so hard but its as if he cant get it out. He also uses words such as puppy, doggy and monkey inplace of objects that he knows their name example a vacuum is a puppy, so is my drill but he knows there names but refuses to use them. He is very good with his brother Mathew but sometimes he will yell at me to "PUT BABY DOOWWN" and demand I hold him. Im struggling to make it by mentally and I would appreciate some help or info not to mention my oldest sons mother is taking me to court for unpaid child support for the last 6month(She doesnt have him her mother does but for some reason Im still supposed to pay her $97 a week she is also not allowed to have contact with him without my or her mother supervision )and the judge is threatening to put me in jail for 6 months, Ive tried to explain my situation with Jacob and still feels that I should put him in daycare or leave him home with mom (neither options I feel safe doing) The more time that goes by I still feel he is learning disabled or autistic I dont know what to do Im running out of time and ideas. I fear the worse if I do goto jail that my son will be lost with out me and have no one to take care of him like I do or have the patience to do so please if you have any info reply