help with ODD teen girl

[deb53x2teens]

I'm new here and hoping to hear from someone.. anyone!!... who is dealing with ODD in teens! I thought I was stubborn as a kid. but this one!!! "R" is the half sister to my 13yr old..."R" is very ODD and knows it but doesn't care to help herself.... she is in counseling and we are now trying to show her what she does or says reaps consequences... the problem is that if she is given a reprimand and consequence for actions in the morning before school.. she will come home after school and not know why she is now grounded!! When we remind her she puts on her tough act (doesn't care) which we know is just that.. an act! "R" came to live with us last March as she was facing another foster home and since her younger sister lives with us ( we are in the process of adopting her) we decided to bring her into our home too... I've known "R" since she was almost 4, now she is 16 going on 2!!! If anyone knows of or has a child with similar problem please talk to me.... Thanks Deb

 

[BusynMember]

Hi, Deb, and welcome to the board. Sorry you have to be here though.

I have a few questions that could help us help you. Was she exposed to any drugs/alcohol while her birthmother was pregnant with her? She seems to have a limited short term memory, common in children who have been exposed to drugs/alcohol before birth. How was her early development? Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her genetic family tree (remember, she is 50% her birthfather and 50% her birthmother, at least genetically). Was she thrown around from person to person before she came to live with you? There usually are serious issues with kids in foster care as you and I both know (I adopted one child from foster care and have four adopted children in all). Have you taken her for a neuropsychologist evaluation to find out why she has such a poor memory?

ODD in my opinion is not a useful diagnosis, especially for teenagers. It doesn't explain WHY the child is defiant and rarely stands alone. in my opinion she does need a complete evaluation before it is too late and she escalates into, say, drug using. Has she had any help outside of talk therapy? How does she do in school? Do you feel she has attached to your family and feels as if shes belongs? Do you feel she CAN attach?

 

[nvts]

MWM hit the key questions! It wouldn't be the first time that a child being bounced around fell through the cracks diagnostically. She could also (depending on how she's doing in school) have some learning disabilities, sensory issues, etc. Do you have any developmental background history?

Beth

 

[Bunny]

My difficult child, who is 11, was diagnosed with ODD, but also with general anxiety disorder. We feel that the anxiety that he feels is causing the ODD behaviors. See if you can make an appointment with a neuropsychologist to have her re-evaluated. If you don't know of one see if her pediatrician can recommend on. If they tell you that she doesn't need to be evaluated tell then you are her mother and want her evaluated because she is so difficult at home. My difficult child does some of the same things. He gets punished and looses a privledge and his response is "So what? I don't care." He really does, but he's trying to be the tough guy.

Pam