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Help with pedophile teenager
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 703944" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Do NOT destroy evidence the way your ex wants. This is a crime and it helps no one. It also carries heavy penalties AND gives both your ex and your son big leverage over you to make you do what they want in the future. I think your ex likely has known or had a part in this for a long time given his reaction to it all. </p><p></p><p>Get a criminal lawyer and ask what YOUR rights are, what the best way to protect yourself, your husband and your other children is. Get your son OUT of your home and KEEP him out of the home with your other children at all costs. Document EVERYTHING. If it is legal in your state, record a discussion with your ex about destroying the computers. Ask him what his reasoning for it is, why he doesn't think help for your son is appropriate, what son has told him about it, and why he offered you money to destroy the computers etc.... To find out if this is legal, you can google the name of your state and laws for recording phone conversations. In some states you only need one party to know, in other states both parties must know. Or have a cell phone recording as you speak to him in person about it but don't let him know the phone is recording. Either way, find a way to document what is going on if it is possible, just as a way to protect yourself and your husband.</p><p></p><p>Do NOT trust your son alone in any room in your home, including the bathroom. I wouldn't let him in there at all for any reason. It opens up the home to cameras etc... and the other kids do not deserve that. And his school has to know about this. I am not sure what a school district card is, although I am guessing a USB flash card device of some kind maybe, or a memory card of some other kind that images can be stored on. </p><p></p><p>I would be careful to work with an attorney and a victim's rights group or advocate because your other children are VICTIMS and will NEED help. Even if he hasn't openly posted things, he has likely violated their privacy and it would be a good thing for them to speak to someone who is specially trained to help them deal with this type of thing. A domestic violence organization usually has specialists trained to help and it is done at no cost to you. There is a group called RAINN that is nationwide and excellent. They can give you info on the local organization that is in your area that can help your family cope with this. <a href="https://www.rainn.org/get-help" target="_blank">https://www.rainn.org/get-help</a></p><p></p><p>Once you have an attorney, go to the police. Probably a sex crimes unit if your area is large enough to have one. If you are lucky, the times and dates the computer was used will be times your husband wasn't home and could not have been the one who downloaded the images. EIther way, with CPS knowing, this may come out sooner rather than later. Destroying evidence is just going to add cloudiness to the lies your son WILL tell to get out of trouble. It sounds like your ex is already coaching him to lie about this. Honestly, I think it looks worse for your ex as it was his amazon account and his funds used to pay for things, but that is just with what little info I have. If your ex can get you to destroy evidence and cover things up, things will just get worse. It gives your ex a LOT more room to point fingers and throw blame at other people. Given your description of him as a psychopath, think about what he will do to get out of any trouble, and think about who it will be very easy to blame without any records to show what really happened and when? Computers keep records of when things are accessed but if you destroy the files, those records can be destroyed. If you destroy the records, why did you do it if you had nothing to hide? </p><p></p><p>THe best thing for your son is NOT to get away with this. The best thing for him is to have consequences and to learn that it is not acceptable and to get real, in depth help. Being taught to lie and cover up and hide is absolutely NOT the right way to go. I have not been in these exact shoes, but I have had a very disturbed child who needed to go for long term treatment. I had to fight an uphill battle to get even my husband to see the need, but it was certainly worth it in the long run. In the short run, my son hated me. Ten years later, he is happy and healthy and a reasonably self sufficient contributing member of society. We love each other and have fun together and he is an amazing young man. But without those long months of treatment? I doubt we would all even be alive today, and I am NOT being a drama queen. I think he would have killed his little sister and then himself, or else he would have killed me while trying to get to her to kill her, and then he would have killed himself out of guilt. It really was THAT BAD back then. Hiding from the problem, and hiding the problem, only makes it worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 703944, member: 1233"] Do NOT destroy evidence the way your ex wants. This is a crime and it helps no one. It also carries heavy penalties AND gives both your ex and your son big leverage over you to make you do what they want in the future. I think your ex likely has known or had a part in this for a long time given his reaction to it all. Get a criminal lawyer and ask what YOUR rights are, what the best way to protect yourself, your husband and your other children is. Get your son OUT of your home and KEEP him out of the home with your other children at all costs. Document EVERYTHING. If it is legal in your state, record a discussion with your ex about destroying the computers. Ask him what his reasoning for it is, why he doesn't think help for your son is appropriate, what son has told him about it, and why he offered you money to destroy the computers etc.... To find out if this is legal, you can google the name of your state and laws for recording phone conversations. In some states you only need one party to know, in other states both parties must know. Or have a cell phone recording as you speak to him in person about it but don't let him know the phone is recording. Either way, find a way to document what is going on if it is possible, just as a way to protect yourself and your husband. Do NOT trust your son alone in any room in your home, including the bathroom. I wouldn't let him in there at all for any reason. It opens up the home to cameras etc... and the other kids do not deserve that. And his school has to know about this. I am not sure what a school district card is, although I am guessing a USB flash card device of some kind maybe, or a memory card of some other kind that images can be stored on. I would be careful to work with an attorney and a victim's rights group or advocate because your other children are VICTIMS and will NEED help. Even if he hasn't openly posted things, he has likely violated their privacy and it would be a good thing for them to speak to someone who is specially trained to help them deal with this type of thing. A domestic violence organization usually has specialists trained to help and it is done at no cost to you. There is a group called RAINN that is nationwide and excellent. They can give you info on the local organization that is in your area that can help your family cope with this. [URL]https://www.rainn.org/get-help[/URL] Once you have an attorney, go to the police. Probably a sex crimes unit if your area is large enough to have one. If you are lucky, the times and dates the computer was used will be times your husband wasn't home and could not have been the one who downloaded the images. EIther way, with CPS knowing, this may come out sooner rather than later. Destroying evidence is just going to add cloudiness to the lies your son WILL tell to get out of trouble. It sounds like your ex is already coaching him to lie about this. Honestly, I think it looks worse for your ex as it was his amazon account and his funds used to pay for things, but that is just with what little info I have. If your ex can get you to destroy evidence and cover things up, things will just get worse. It gives your ex a LOT more room to point fingers and throw blame at other people. Given your description of him as a psychopath, think about what he will do to get out of any trouble, and think about who it will be very easy to blame without any records to show what really happened and when? Computers keep records of when things are accessed but if you destroy the files, those records can be destroyed. If you destroy the records, why did you do it if you had nothing to hide? THe best thing for your son is NOT to get away with this. The best thing for him is to have consequences and to learn that it is not acceptable and to get real, in depth help. Being taught to lie and cover up and hide is absolutely NOT the right way to go. I have not been in these exact shoes, but I have had a very disturbed child who needed to go for long term treatment. I had to fight an uphill battle to get even my husband to see the need, but it was certainly worth it in the long run. In the short run, my son hated me. Ten years later, he is happy and healthy and a reasonably self sufficient contributing member of society. We love each other and have fun together and he is an amazing young man. But without those long months of treatment? I doubt we would all even be alive today, and I am NOT being a drama queen. I think he would have killed his little sister and then himself, or else he would have killed me while trying to get to her to kill her, and then he would have killed himself out of guilt. It really was THAT BAD back then. Hiding from the problem, and hiding the problem, only makes it worse. [/QUOTE]
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