Help with Potty training!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dara, Sep 26, 2007.

  1. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Hi all! We are hoping to potty train Sammy. First off, I dont think he is ready. He would sit in a dirty diaper all day long if you let him. he sits on the potty at school and has been on and off for the past year but he doesnt do anything there. I dont think he understands that something happens on the potty. He goes in with me and my husband and talks about it when the dog goes but I dont think he has put that concept with himself. He wears pullups for speech and sits on the potty there but again, nothing happens. His pullup has the "cool alert" and he doesnt even notice. It can be wet, leak and he doesnt flinch. This is the same child who cant have a drop of water on his shirt or hands without needing new clothes and a giant towel! Any suggestions or wisdom is very welcome at this point. The neurologist didnt really have anything to say about it or the fact that he doesnt walk in public or anything for that matter! We are going to the mayo clinic with him to hope someone there can figure him out but anyways...advice welcome here!
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    Don't. He is not ready. If you try to train a child who is not ready, you will defeat the purpose. He will resist, and then it will take you twice as long.

    Don't even try right now.
  3. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    My son started showing interest and sitting on the potty at age 2 but did not become potty trained until he was 3 yrs and 3 mos old. My advice would be to give it time - he will when he is ready. We talked about it a lot with my son when he was young - if I could tell he was going poop in his diaper, I would talk about it... oh you're going poop, good job... etc.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    He either will or won't... when he is ready. K didn't until she was 4. She was not ready until then. If we pushed her prior to that nothing, she would sit in it all day also. Al of the tricks, nothing, pre-school, could care less if all of the "big kids" were doing it.

    For some reason N is getting it earlier... why? Who knows, I think she wants to be a big girl and she is one of those that actually like the bribe... I can also reason with N and could not with K at 3.

    Sorry, I do know how hard it is, I was freaked out by K in the beginning, at some point I just said... who cares. There are so many bigger things to worry about with her!!!
  5. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I am not going to push it. I have potty trained many a child and I know that it is something that is completely out of our control and is up to them even if they are ready. Even when Sammy is ready, It is going to be tough because it will be something he can control and will use it against us. My real concern is that he doesnt have any idea. Should I worry about that right now or wait until he is 4 or so to really worry if he still isnt making the connection.
    I hope this made sense...
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son is a lot like Sammy from reading your posts. He was #1 trained on his own in his mid 3's and didn't use the potty all the time for #2 until five (boy, was THAT Could be sensory issues; the kids don't know when they have to go. He won't be in diapers at sixteen. Promise! I'm guessing (and could be wrong) that he DOES know, but doesn't want anything to do with it yet.
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    There is that new theory, I don't know much about it, but I have heard that it suggests using no diapers or pull ups for potty training. I guess the kid just runs around naked at home, and the natural cause and effect takes over. Have you heard about it, or tried it?
  8. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I have heard about it but he wont do it. He wont even take a bath or shower without a swim diaper. I am thinking that once his best friend is potty trained, Sammy will take more of an interest too. After all, we had to get black Croc shoes because best friend has them so heres hoping right!
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    AAhhhhhhhhh.........peer pressure. That is about the only thing it is good for! Good luck!
  10. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! One thing that worked with "getting his attention" toward potty training with difficult child 2 was we got some of those Potty training videos. The most popular one with him was the one that was a cartoon and had a song "yes I'm going to my potty, potty". In the video, grandma bought him a porta-potty. It was a catchy tune and difficult child 2 sang it constantly. I wish I could remember the title - it is made specifically for each sex and explains what their "parts" do to make pee-pee and poop.

    If I think of the name of it, I'll pop it over to you!


    PS: it took about 6 mos. of watching this for his personal "production" to start!!! :smile:
  11. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Dara: I wouldn't worry AT ALL about potty training right now. Sounds like you have lots of other things to worry about and as everyone else said, and I'm sure you know, he'll do it in his own time.

    My son turned three last month. He'll sit on the potty sometimes, he knows when he needs to, but he's not consistent. I've encouraged him by offering a half piece of licorice, that helps. I also bought the baby bjorn potty because he's kind of big for his age and that's more comfortable for him to sit on.

    We have the video that Beth is talking about and it is very cute. My son loves it, it's called "Once Upon a Potty". There's also a book and a doll that you can get, I think.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I guess I was a horrible mother. I told my husband that I could only potty train girls because I don't have the same plumbing that boys do. Thus I could not understand how boys potty enough to teach them to use the potty.

    My husband bought this.

    With my daughter she was in a Montessori preschool and one day her teacher's aide said, "you really should get her some big girl panties. She hasn't had to have her pullup changed in almost a month."

    I was floored. She was just almost 3. difficult child was almost 4 before he figured things out. And with thank you, who knows what Jess did to help him? He sort of figured things out by watching the older kids.

    So other than put it off absolutely as long as possible and try to make it your husband's problem?? (Laughing at this. My husband really did think this was the way it was supposed to go. He worked in an office with a bunch of women - they ALL told him that was how it was, men train boys.)

    Good Luck!

  13. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    My 5 year old was easy, she potty trained herself at 18 months (during the day) night time of course, took more time than that. My 3 year old had to have some help, she talked about it, but didn't really have an interest. The one thing that made a big difference for her was we went and bought one of those musical potty's. I am serious, I know it sounds crazy, but she absolutely LOVED the song it played, and she knew she could only hear it if she went potty, because the music doesn't play until they actually pee.

    Obviously, having all girls, I don't know much about boys, but I have heard some mothers say that a good way to interest a boy is to put a few cheerios in the potty floating in some water, and try to get them to "sink" the cheerios. Lol, I have heard it said that the boys have to watch "daddy" do it first to understand, but that it works. Why??? who knows??? I have also heard some parents really against this because it makes a game out of it, but hey, if it works, why not?
  14. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    kaleb was three in february. last month on his visit to me, when I picked him up I told him we were not doing diapers anymore. I drove him to the store and we picked out big boy pants together. ones with neat designs, elmo, trucks, etc.

    I read him the potty book every night before bed.

    I put the pants on him when he got to my house. I also had bought a small gum ball machine at walmart and told him he got a penny every time for pee and two pennies for poop.

    he was trained in 4 dys about the peeing part. he hated being wet and I never put a diaper back on so the first two dys were a chore. the poop part is good if I am right there and see him being too quiet or alone. then I get him on the pot. he is dry all night and wears panties to bed.

    when he goes back to his mom's she puts pull ups on him because she doesnt want to deal with him. grrrr
  15. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    How unbelievably FRUSTRATING!!
  16. SnowAngel

    SnowAngel New Member

    I made the bathroom kid friendly. It had books in the magazine rack and was decorated in a kid style. This helped them become comfortable with the bathroom and made it more inviting for kids. If he isn't ready then he isn't ready.

    My 9yr niece wears pullups at night and they are soaked in the morning. She has accidents at school and home,thankfully just wet. :smile:

    The potty videos are at most of the local libraries. They also have books for kids to help encourage using the potty. I was lucky my last baby was potty trained by 14 months, thanks to having a two and three year old brother. Good luck.
  17. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Personally I wouldn't worry about potty training, especially right now when he's just transitioned into new therapy and (I think) school programs. Too many changes at once can be overwhelming for our kids. Many boys with his cluster of issues don't potty train until 4 or 5.

    You might look through this DVD series and see if there's something on potty training. My difficult child was past them when I heard about them but parents give them rave reviews.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Im getting good ideas on this thread!

    We trained the boys at around two with the fruit loops method. They played sink the targets. Yes daddy showed them how!

    Im buying Keyana a doll for Xmas that sits on the potty and makes tinkling sounds and laughs when she does it. LOL. Maybe this will inspire her.
  19. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I actually found out that half of his class is not yet potty trained so that puts me at ease for now. When his best friend starts potty training, that might be a little motivator for Sammy because he has to do everything his best friend does...Monkey see monkey do! Right now we have bigger issues that I am facing. New things going on every day and I am a bit worried about Sammy right now. He isnt acting right and I am not too sure what to do. I am taking him to the dr on monday but what do I say, he is acting wierd? Always something!
  20. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    It sounds like a good plan to wait for potty training--What's going on with Sammy? Do you think he's getting sick? Some kids seem to act out and have more behavioral issues right before an illness?