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Helping easy children cope
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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 683395" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>Our easy child is 6 and Difficult Child is 10. At 10, I can't leave Difficult Child by himself, much less leave him alone with his brother. Not even to go to the Walgreen's down the street for a quick something. </p><p></p><p>When easy child was younger he did everything Difficult Child told him to do, but now that he's getting order, he's starting to defend himself and even, at time, become the aggressor because that is what he has learned from Difficult Child. It's like he's trying on Difficult Child's behavior to see what it feels like. The are starting to resonate off of one another more and more to the point that if I don't do anything and try to let them sort it out on their own, it will go on all day long, or at least until I get tired of it and separate them for a while.</p><p></p><p>I feel bad for our easy child because he does get the sort end of the attention stick. Difficult Child hogs all the attention. Even when I'm paying specific attention to easy child, Difficult Child will do something to draw it away. Also, for a long time I held back on things easy child deserved because of the fits we would get from Difficult Child. Difficult Child gets angry if his brother gets something and he doesn't. I've corrected that though. It's now fair to easy child. Now if easy child's behavior has been and good and Difficult Child's has not, I reward easy child. Maybe one day Difficult Child will see that if he acts appropriately, he'll get rewarded too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 683395, member: 19076"] Our easy child is 6 and Difficult Child is 10. At 10, I can't leave Difficult Child by himself, much less leave him alone with his brother. Not even to go to the Walgreen's down the street for a quick something. When easy child was younger he did everything Difficult Child told him to do, but now that he's getting order, he's starting to defend himself and even, at time, become the aggressor because that is what he has learned from Difficult Child. It's like he's trying on Difficult Child's behavior to see what it feels like. The are starting to resonate off of one another more and more to the point that if I don't do anything and try to let them sort it out on their own, it will go on all day long, or at least until I get tired of it and separate them for a while. I feel bad for our easy child because he does get the sort end of the attention stick. Difficult Child hogs all the attention. Even when I'm paying specific attention to easy child, Difficult Child will do something to draw it away. Also, for a long time I held back on things easy child deserved because of the fits we would get from Difficult Child. Difficult Child gets angry if his brother gets something and he doesn't. I've corrected that though. It's now fair to easy child. Now if easy child's behavior has been and good and Difficult Child's has not, I reward easy child. Maybe one day Difficult Child will see that if he acts appropriately, he'll get rewarded too. [/QUOTE]
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