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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 751139" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>RN...Thank you for your words of encouragement! I can "feel" I've grown inside. There's an inner strength I have now and I pray to God will stay with me. I had to get past all the "stuff" my Adult Sons would say to me. ..you're a bad Mom for not helping, Your worthless, you should never had had kids, you should have left Dad a long time ago..now we're all damaged from him... (you get the idea). When you're already vulnerable, as I was, from living with alcoholism on overload and trying to spring back from all that comes with that insanity, it was hard to discount what they were telling me because at some deeper level I felt it was true. I was so shattered.</p><p></p><p>I am still picking up the pieces but I want to be better and ultimately the cherry on top of the frosted cake would be that my sons some day might get better. I have realized they will never ever have a chance at getting better if I constantly rescue them from their "problems". Never!</p><p>So I either dig my heels in now and do the "dirty" work on me and can only hope and pray they, at some point down the road, they get better themselves.</p><p></p><p>I still am afraid inside a lot of times but I recently read something by Joyce Meyers and she said. "It's ok if your afraid, you can still do "something" while being afraid." She's right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 751139, member: 23405"] RN...Thank you for your words of encouragement! I can "feel" I've grown inside. There's an inner strength I have now and I pray to God will stay with me. I had to get past all the "stuff" my Adult Sons would say to me. ..you're a bad Mom for not helping, Your worthless, you should never had had kids, you should have left Dad a long time ago..now we're all damaged from him... (you get the idea). When you're already vulnerable, as I was, from living with alcoholism on overload and trying to spring back from all that comes with that insanity, it was hard to discount what they were telling me because at some deeper level I felt it was true. I was so shattered. I am still picking up the pieces but I want to be better and ultimately the cherry on top of the frosted cake would be that my sons some day might get better. I have realized they will never ever have a chance at getting better if I constantly rescue them from their "problems". Never! So I either dig my heels in now and do the "dirty" work on me and can only hope and pray they, at some point down the road, they get better themselves. I still am afraid inside a lot of times but I recently read something by Joyce Meyers and she said. "It's ok if your afraid, you can still do "something" while being afraid." She's right. [/QUOTE]
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