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<blockquote data-quote="Terry-overwhelmed" data-source="post: 751143" data-attributes="member: 24359"><p>I want to thank all you amazing women with your words of wisdom and insight. It’s such a relief to know that other people know what I am going through. Just reading your responses made me all choked up inside. I feel like someone died whenever I think about my son and his choices. I felt relieved when everyone told me that he has to do this himself. Even though it still hurts me to the core that he will be homeless, I know deep down I can’t save him and that he has to save himself. It will be very painful for me not to help him but I know I have to try. One thing thats helps me through the pain is knowing that he is aware how many sacrifices my husband and I have made raising his children and has not once thanked us for making sure all their needs are met. Really he seems more resentful, than grateful. I really try my best to give them a stable home with structure. They are in after school programs, sports, gymnastics, girl scouts, band etc. They go to 3 different schools and their homework is completed as soon as they get home. They have regular check ups and are disciplined when needed. The youngest was born addicted and has some learning disabilities. It’s not always easy because I am older I don’t have the patience I had when my children were young. I know I keep going on about my son but I still can’t wrap my head around his poor choices. I just can’t comprehend anyone who doesn’t give things 110%. I sometimes resent my two other responsible adult children who will not help their brother anymore since they see how much pain it causes me. Their response is “Mom, he is an adult, oh well”. My other children are tired of the strain he has caused on all our lives. If we go to a restaurant everyone knows we will be paying for him. Over the years, I have helped him pay his rent when he had his kids and spouse and was behind, heating bills, paid off traffic tickets, lawyer bills, sent money to jail, moving trucks, clothes, and anything else he may have fallen behind on. I just don’t have the resources anymore. He always has some story. I never know what to believe. He also is a very sweet person at times and other times an uncaring a hole, lol. If I am worried about something with the kids, he downsizes it and makes it seem like its no big deal. Ex- I don’t let them eat food in the bedrooms. He is like “what’s the big deal?” I don’t want bugs in the rooms. There is a kitchen and dining room for that. I could go on. Thank you ladies for being here so I can vent. It is really so helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Terry-overwhelmed, post: 751143, member: 24359"] I want to thank all you amazing women with your words of wisdom and insight. It’s such a relief to know that other people know what I am going through. Just reading your responses made me all choked up inside. I feel like someone died whenever I think about my son and his choices. I felt relieved when everyone told me that he has to do this himself. Even though it still hurts me to the core that he will be homeless, I know deep down I can’t save him and that he has to save himself. It will be very painful for me not to help him but I know I have to try. One thing thats helps me through the pain is knowing that he is aware how many sacrifices my husband and I have made raising his children and has not once thanked us for making sure all their needs are met. Really he seems more resentful, than grateful. I really try my best to give them a stable home with structure. They are in after school programs, sports, gymnastics, girl scouts, band etc. They go to 3 different schools and their homework is completed as soon as they get home. They have regular check ups and are disciplined when needed. The youngest was born addicted and has some learning disabilities. It’s not always easy because I am older I don’t have the patience I had when my children were young. I know I keep going on about my son but I still can’t wrap my head around his poor choices. I just can’t comprehend anyone who doesn’t give things 110%. I sometimes resent my two other responsible adult children who will not help their brother anymore since they see how much pain it causes me. Their response is “Mom, he is an adult, oh well”. My other children are tired of the strain he has caused on all our lives. If we go to a restaurant everyone knows we will be paying for him. Over the years, I have helped him pay his rent when he had his kids and spouse and was behind, heating bills, paid off traffic tickets, lawyer bills, sent money to jail, moving trucks, clothes, and anything else he may have fallen behind on. I just don’t have the resources anymore. He always has some story. I never know what to believe. He also is a very sweet person at times and other times an uncaring a hole, lol. If I am worried about something with the kids, he downsizes it and makes it seem like its no big deal. Ex- I don’t let them eat food in the bedrooms. He is like “what’s the big deal?” I don’t want bugs in the rooms. There is a kitchen and dining room for that. I could go on. Thank you ladies for being here so I can vent. It is really so helpful. [/QUOTE]
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