Here is something some of you may need or ..

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Due to a very bad situation that has happened and is currently ongoing at the moment in my little world that has me rallying wagons from years ago in advocacy (and let me tell you these are some REALLY BIG wagons with some power!) I was told about this little piece of information called a "mental health directive". Now we all know about POA's and living wills and such but have you heard of THIS? I had not. It is very different then most of the things out there and not all states have them or use them the same so you need to check your state's law on them and how it is applied. First, here is a little article from NAMI about it.

    Here is a PDF that that is very handy in explanations and all encompassing of the actual forms too. Again, look for your state's one as well.

    My situation involves potential abuse but definitely neglect in a psychiatric facility. There is a ton more but I am not at liberty to discuss any more. I can share that the picture I have would make you cringe! It is awful for our seniors and mentally ill to be taken advantage of like this. I hate that I am in the condition I am and can only do so much by phone and that I am not located where I need to be to do what I know I NEED and CAN do but believe me, what I AM doing at the moment is moving huge mountains that potentially Suz and others up there may hear about as this is BIG!

    ***wonders where this huge energy ball erupted from? could it be from when one of our own gets seriously hurt?***
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    VERY Interesting and helpful. Thank you for posting this.

    Mods, this would likely be helpful in the future, so maybe we could put this in the archives in a wee or so when comments have slowed down? Thanks, esp as there are a few people in my life that would benefit from this.
  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Glad it is useful! :)

    My situation has come under control and with an outcome I was seeking. Well not all of which but at least the "proof" part so far, you never want harm as an out come or lasting damage! Checks and balances went into place. If I help any others along the way, my job is done!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was in a group therapy type thing and we did a session on MH advanced directives and it was one that I basically had a hissy fit during. It is bad enough that I have a medical advanced directive but the whole idea of a mental health one just put me over the edge. It was really soon after I was in the hospital with the meningitis and I just got very irritable and smartassed about most of the comments and questions on the form. I named people like Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse as the people who could make my decisions.

    I seriously dont trust anyone to decide that I can be placed into any mental health facility. Sorry Charlie. No way. Im not giving that power away to anyone. Not in this lifetime or the next. It was bad enough when I didnt have the choice to go to a rehab facility. I fought that one tooth and nail. Yeah I needed it but I begged Tony to sneak me out before they could send me and I felt so betrayed. Now I understand but at the time, I was mad and scared to death.

    After that, nope, not giving up anything other than the fact that I dont want to live on life support with no chance of being anything but a veggie for the rest of my life. Pull the plug.
  5. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm sorry you had a really bad experience Janet. I'm sure it had to be terrifying! I am not you and to say I understand would not do justice I'm sure but let me explain something so you can see another perception of it (not to change your mind or to try either).

    My mother felt, and to some extent, still feels VERY much the way you do. She was hospitalized the very first time in a sanitarium not even a regular hospital, when I was about 4-5? That was many years ago so you can imagine the type of facility they were back then right? Far worse then you probably have experienced in your lifetime I would think. In the years since, her next stays happened after suicide attempts and they were very short stays in a regular hospital. Fast forward to more present times and she has done stays in regular hospitals plus now psychiatric hospitals that are much more to date then in the past.

    Let me also let you know that growing up, until I had kids of my own with issues, I did not know my mother actually had an illness. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't know what. She apparently was told by her doctor many years ago that she was manic depressive. I guess she didn't fully understand what that meant because for years all she would do is tell everyone she was severely depressed or chronically depressed or that it was "situational." Fast forward again and I tried to educate her as I learned, what she really had and slowly began trying to get her to get help. It's been a very, very long road for her understanding and acceptance. Still at times she bucks at it just not so much. She always feared being "locked" up again so that was part of her resistance. Over time what has transpired has been enormous! She had to learn and be able to trust, which she doesn't really still, in someone. It's me at the moment. She learned that she could trust that I will not abuse her trust. That I will not "lock her up." That I WILL help her and get her help only. Unless she is doing something completely unsafe.

    For example, when my father died she complete lost it and started doing really strange things. She'd walk down the road in the middle of the night in her nightdown in 20 degree weather in the snow. Literally out of her mind and not even remember doing it! Thank god I was there at the time. I'd talk her through it when she wasn't all there and slowly her mind would come back to reality. Another time she sat at the kitchen table with post it's all around her until she used up the entire pad of them writing things about dying. She walked off like that many times over the course of the initial 2 years he died. We think it was the trauma of his death (events leading up to it and then her seeing him bleeding to death from an aortic anyeurism for hours at the hospital). She did many other things too. These are just a few examples.

    What I also did was allow her to see that she was in control of what she wanted. She told me what she expected and I abide by it. I also told her what I would do and when, and why I would do it. It is a matter of trust.

    I think this is what it's about and that is what I'm getting at. I'm sad and sorry that you don't have anyone that you feel safe enough to be able to give that to. To know that they can speak for you and do what you need them to do when you may need it most. She has a new husband now but he can not and will not do what needs to be done. He just doesn't have it in him to abide by her wishes and also really lacks the knowledge to fully understand the complexities of mental health. He has known her all her life so it's not that issue at all. They grew up together. Even when she's at her worst and really needs help, his heart will pull for her and then she doesn't get the proper treatment. I give her a lot of credit for seeing this and being able to step up to the plate and having someone else step in to care for her needs. I only wish this had happened years ago for her as I think back over time and how much better things could have been.

    Please don't take this in any other manner as what I meant for it to be, which was to show you another perspective of how important it can be to have and that it's not about "locking" someone up if they've chosen the right person to entrust it too. ;)