Here we go again

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    difficult child lost her job yesterday. No real reason except they didn't have hours after Christmas as they thought they would when they hired her, and the manager said it wasn't going to work out. She is hurt and confused. We talked through it-told her we would take her hunting and then she left a message on my phone that she was going job hunting on her own (I dont believe it) and would taty in touch. Have not heard from her since 2:30. Worried. I have choir tonight, I'm going to go and hope for the best.

    I'm worried she will hit the marijuana and not come home tonight.
  2. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    I really hope that your difficult child doesn't resort to drug use again to help her get over the loss of her job. Sometimes it seems like the problems with our kids will never end, doesn't it? I'm sending caring thoughts your way. HUGS...
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a disappointment for your difficult child. I hope that she rebounds and finds something else quickly.

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dear what a shame. My difficult child was let go from her job after two months and they told her she just didn't work out. We believe they found out she was in rehab because she told several of the girls sho worked with against our advice.

    These stressfull events are turning points for our difficult child's. They have so few coping skills. I really hope she uses her head and doesn't over react.

  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    fingers crossed she finds another job ASAP and doesn't go bak to the weed.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    GOing to choir is a good thing. I hope she uses her tools and doesnt' turn to pot. Be sure that you use your tools so that you stay on a good path too. It is easy to get pulled in when they hit a rough patch and relapse.
  7. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    I'm sorry....

    But it is good to hear you are continuing with your plans while offering her appropriate help.

    Wishing you some peace tonight.
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Ahhh, I'm sorry too.
    Sure hoping your difficult child does not let this setback get the best of her.

    Thinking of you,
  9. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Thank you everyone. She ended up going to a friend from first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She didnt call until 9:30 so of course we were worried. She did have an interview today-she has to fill out paper work and it sounded like they wanted her to start next week if paper gets processed. We hope she is being truthful. She was supposed to be home when i got home from school today and her chores done. She isn't and has not done her chores. The stress never ends. On top of it I have been not well and my culture came back positive for the strep. pnemonia strain-so I'm staying home tomorrow to rest-will I have peace? Don't know. Sigh!
  10. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Please please please take care of yourself.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Well first I hope you are feeling better. Did they start you on antibiotics? I hope so because that will help you feel better if it is strep.

    My hope is she is home now and just didn't do her chores because she was frustrated about losing the job... however I understand the worries about them using again. I don't know if that worry ever ends?


  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hope you are feeling better soon. I never cease to be amazed at how vulnerable our substance abusing difficult child's are compared to easy child's at the same age. Even a slight indication of rejection seems to be magnified and painful to cope with...even for difficult child's who have alot going for them. Fingers crossed that she does a quick turnaround. Hugs. DDD
  13. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    And isn't it just interesting how the troubles keep hitting them? She just seems to have disappointment after disappointment. Just when it seems to be going, in goes a wrench. Test after test and she just doesn't have the resilience needed to weather it.

    She came home right after I posted and did her chores without a hitch. She has had trouble sleeping again. From couch to bed to our room.Sigh! Still worried she is using-this kid she hangs with since elementary, has had his issues. He does have a job and is doin well in school. I hesitate to get too involved as he has always been there for her, he is gay so I know nothing is going on, and they both have had trouble fitting in. But... the very pair to self medicate???

    Yes I'm on my second round of antibiotics-I hate taking them (stomach ache-yeast infections)but have just not been well. 2 of my 6th graders have had this same bacteria-both very sick for a long time. Guess it causes meningitis in teens. I'm trying to relax-can't stand staying in bed.
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I've read that their emotional growth gets stunted when they start using. Using allows them to escape and therefore they don't learn to roll with the blows like easy child's do. I've been on this road for ten years + with difficult child#1 and it still blows my mind. He is not a wimpy guy, in fact I would probably describe him as macho with a basically caring heart...but he avoids situations where he "might" be perceived as less than perfect. When he drinks (or smokes which I think is now unusal??) he feels whole. Sad.

    Fingers crossed that she rebounds. Hugs. DDD
  15. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    It is so hard to keep functioning and the stress is unbelieveable! Take care of yourself. I try to stay busy and take it a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time! I know how hard it is, hope you are feeling better!
  16. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    "Avoiding places (or in my difficult child's case-situations) where he might be perceived as left than perfect" really hits home...

    I think using pot & drinking is my difficult child's way of making mediocracy appear to be by choice. Can't be truly average or a failure if you didnt try or checked out.
  17. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    DDD I never though of it that way but it does make alot of sence.

    I agree Signorina,
  18. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    It is so obvious her emotional growth is immature. She has spent most of her teen years in a structured setting-we had to keep her safe. She doesn't have the normal range of feelings; at least that she will show or share. She developed the emotions that would keep the other troubled kids in these settings from ripping her heart out. She uses anger to shut people down. It is so hard to understand from such a bright kid. When her dad asked her to stay with me yesterday to see what my reaction would be to the new antibiotic, she got mad. "I want to go see my friends, why me, blah, blah." No feelings for me. When her dad called her on it, she said of course she cared, but she had plans. She had no clue how that ripped my heart out. She left and as of now (7:36 am) has not come home. What went through my head was, "I hope she never has children. Her plans will mean nothing when they have needs." How can she be so sweet and compassionate at times and such a "monster" at others?
  19. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am hearing about so many cases of pneumonia this year. A friend of mine had it go through his entire family and they were all very ill. Make sure you take the medications and get a lot of rest.