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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 722248" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>CB, I'm sorry this continues for you. It appears that the dynamic between you and your daughter no longer works, as she is now an adult woman, your parenting of her needs to shift gears. Like many of us here have to learn, we are not responsible for the choices our adult kids make. It's tough under typical circumstances to make that shift and let our kids go into their own lives, but when our kids are troubled, mentally ill or have substance abuse issues, that road gets so much more difficult.</p><p></p><p>In order to make any kind of change, it is going to require <u>you </u>to make the changes, as others have mentioned above. I understand how difficult that is, especially since your daughter is so young and has quite a number of health issues. </p><p></p><p>To help support you, you might consider giving NAMI a call. They can help you both to make the transition from your daughter's dependence on you to either her taking the reins of her own life, or at the very least, you letting go of the reins. </p><p></p><p>You have a lot on your plate with financial issues, your own health, your son, your job and your daughter. Give yourself the gift of getting help for YOU. I believe NAMI can assist you with not only support, but guidance, resources and information.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you CB, you don't deserve to be treated badly by your daughter. Like me and many here, you'll have to learn boundaries, how to say no, not to give in to her tantrums and terrible behavior towards you and let her go thru whatever consequences she sets up for herself. She wanted to go to school, the fact that she didn't want to stay is her problem, not yours. Harassing you until she gets her way is a strategy that you needn't support by giving in to her. If it happens today, turn off your phone. Let her handle it herself.</p><p></p><p>I hope today is a better day. Hang in there CB, this too will change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 722248, member: 13542"] CB, I'm sorry this continues for you. It appears that the dynamic between you and your daughter no longer works, as she is now an adult woman, your parenting of her needs to shift gears. Like many of us here have to learn, we are not responsible for the choices our adult kids make. It's tough under typical circumstances to make that shift and let our kids go into their own lives, but when our kids are troubled, mentally ill or have substance abuse issues, that road gets so much more difficult. In order to make any kind of change, it is going to require [U]you [/U]to make the changes, as others have mentioned above. I understand how difficult that is, especially since your daughter is so young and has quite a number of health issues. To help support you, you might consider giving NAMI a call. They can help you both to make the transition from your daughter's dependence on you to either her taking the reins of her own life, or at the very least, you letting go of the reins. You have a lot on your plate with financial issues, your own health, your son, your job and your daughter. Give yourself the gift of getting help for YOU. I believe NAMI can assist you with not only support, but guidance, resources and information. I feel for you CB, you don't deserve to be treated badly by your daughter. Like me and many here, you'll have to learn boundaries, how to say no, not to give in to her tantrums and terrible behavior towards you and let her go thru whatever consequences she sets up for herself. She wanted to go to school, the fact that she didn't want to stay is her problem, not yours. Harassing you until she gets her way is a strategy that you needn't support by giving in to her. If it happens today, turn off your phone. Let her handle it herself. I hope today is a better day. Hang in there CB, this too will change. [/QUOTE]
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