Here we go again

[Nessie]

New court date the end of February! This is so frustrating as I feel like my life is on hold. Lawyer told my son if he used the time constructively and improved himself then she would be able to provide a better case for a shorter sentence, so far he has done nothing.

This past weekend he has been in a foul mood. He came out with us for my daughters birthday on Friday, wore tatty old clothes despite having new ones for Christmas and didn’t speak at all during the whole meal. I just don’t understand why he came to behave like that. I have that awful panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach that he is ramping up to something. He’s been out a lot this week and I’m fairly certain it’s drugs, despite being on a detox programme. I warned him after court I could not take anymore but I really don’t know what to do.

Tonight I hear a big smash and when I go into his room I see there is a smashed candle, he is sleeping on the floor and there is rubbish everywhere. His mood is dark. I’m scared he will do something stupid to himself or create another load of drama of which I really do not feel able to deal with. Give me strength!

 

[AppleCori]

Hi Nessie,

How are you doing today?

Sorry that you are dealing with this, yet again.

Is there any way to talk to the lawyer about getting your son in rehab, or getting him sentenced to rehab?

He is obviously not using his time wisely.

Let us know how you are doing.

Apple

 

[Sam3]

Nessie.

Your instincts are probably right.

Maybe it would be helpful to step back a little and think about whether you should be on pins and needles in your home, or whether your son’s dark cloud should hang over your daughter’s birthday.

For me, that little effort to take a birds eye view helps to keep things clearer for me. Not easier, necessarily, because it is not easy to set boundaries after things have become so skewed. But I am much less unsure.

The earth is round again and gravity works.

My son has been unstable and destabilizing. I will be here for him when or as long as he is trying to get traction.