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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 728987" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I'm sorry, Sherydoc.</p><p></p><p>Meth does cause agitation and lots of other negative emotions. In my experience, both with my own mom and the parents on this board, what we suspect is unfortunately usually true.</p><p></p><p>It could be that your son was fired much earlier than he let on, and perhaps that's why he had to find another place to live.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, but I don't know your back story. I see from your signature that you have given him the choice to get help or move out, and that he is adamant about not going to rehab. How bad do you think his drug use is? Do you think forcing rehab in exchange for your help is appropriate?</p><p></p><p>What do you expect from him, in exchange for providing him a place to stay? What happens if he doesn't adhere to those expectations? I think having some ground rules firmly in place is really important. Even if they don't follow the rules, at least it will cut down on second-guessing ourselves when it's time for them to go.</p><p></p><p>How do you and your husband feel about allowing him to move home? Is it a decision made from the FOG (fear-obligation-guilt) that our troubled kids know how to tap into, or do you expect him to use your generosity to his betterment? I think these are really important questions to ask, because you are taking on a lot.</p><p></p><p>I will not ever let my son move back in with us, because I am a world-class FOG machine. Living with us is not good for my son and it is not good for us.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, I said many times I would not ever let my son move back in with us, and I did it anyway. Ultimately we can only do what we are comfortable with, what we can live with. I wish you the best, and I hope your son decides to make some positive changes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 728987, member: 17720"] I'm sorry, Sherydoc. Meth does cause agitation and lots of other negative emotions. In my experience, both with my own mom and the parents on this board, what we suspect is unfortunately usually true. It could be that your son was fired much earlier than he let on, and perhaps that's why he had to find another place to live. I'm sorry, but I don't know your back story. I see from your signature that you have given him the choice to get help or move out, and that he is adamant about not going to rehab. How bad do you think his drug use is? Do you think forcing rehab in exchange for your help is appropriate? What do you expect from him, in exchange for providing him a place to stay? What happens if he doesn't adhere to those expectations? I think having some ground rules firmly in place is really important. Even if they don't follow the rules, at least it will cut down on second-guessing ourselves when it's time for them to go. How do you and your husband feel about allowing him to move home? Is it a decision made from the FOG (fear-obligation-guilt) that our troubled kids know how to tap into, or do you expect him to use your generosity to his betterment? I think these are really important questions to ask, because you are taking on a lot. I will not ever let my son move back in with us, because I am a world-class FOG machine. Living with us is not good for my son and it is not good for us. Having said that, I said many times I would not ever let my son move back in with us, and I did it anyway. Ultimately we can only do what we are comfortable with, what we can live with. I wish you the best, and I hope your son decides to make some positive changes. [/QUOTE]
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