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Here we go Again
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 763173" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hello dearest Copa,</p><p>It is always so encouraging to receive your support and comfort. </p><p></p><p>I am thankful that I am getting a bit better at working through these disappointments. It’s still hard. My two will always be a part of me. I have not had the strength to see them, but am coming around to a decision to try. Detachment comes in many forms, and if I can hold on to sanity and engage with them every so often, then it is worth an effort. </p><p></p><p> I am so sorry Copa that you go through this still with your son. I know you love him dearly and want the best for him. I wish that our adult kids would want the best for themselves. You have come a long way in being able to cope with his choices and set healthy boundaries for yourself. I’m not sure what to expect when or if I am able to see Rain or Tornado. Contact feels a bit scary, like I am setting myself up for the same old same old. I don’t know if seeing them would make this ache worse. I’m not getting any younger and I guess that is what is making me reconsider my options. Im not fooling myself anymore that I can change what their choices are. I’m not going to actively look for them. But, if I do see them I may make an effort to stop. Say hello, tell them I love them. It has been on my mind for awhile. I have to admit that there is also a looming feeling of whether it is safe or not. That’s sad that I have to consider that, but I do. Not only because of the people that are in the park, but I don’t want to set myself up to be taken advantage of, especially with my granddaughter at home with me. I need to think long and hard about this, because the safety of my home could be jeopardized. That’s a sad reality. My two have been using meth for a long time. I don’t know what their state of mind is. I may just be talking myself out of it. Oh boy. Well. I do have time to think and pray on it.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much Copa. I so appreciate your kindness. It is wonderful to hear from Kalahou. We have been veterans in a battle we never thought we would be in. I wish it wasn’t so, but here we are. </p><p>Much love to you, and thank you so very much for your thoughts.</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 763173, member: 19522"] Hello dearest Copa, It is always so encouraging to receive your support and comfort. I am thankful that I am getting a bit better at working through these disappointments. It’s still hard. My two will always be a part of me. I have not had the strength to see them, but am coming around to a decision to try. Detachment comes in many forms, and if I can hold on to sanity and engage with them every so often, then it is worth an effort. I am so sorry Copa that you go through this still with your son. I know you love him dearly and want the best for him. I wish that our adult kids would want the best for themselves. You have come a long way in being able to cope with his choices and set healthy boundaries for yourself. I’m not sure what to expect when or if I am able to see Rain or Tornado. Contact feels a bit scary, like I am setting myself up for the same old same old. I don’t know if seeing them would make this ache worse. I’m not getting any younger and I guess that is what is making me reconsider my options. Im not fooling myself anymore that I can change what their choices are. I’m not going to actively look for them. But, if I do see them I may make an effort to stop. Say hello, tell them I love them. It has been on my mind for awhile. I have to admit that there is also a looming feeling of whether it is safe or not. That’s sad that I have to consider that, but I do. Not only because of the people that are in the park, but I don’t want to set myself up to be taken advantage of, especially with my granddaughter at home with me. I need to think long and hard about this, because the safety of my home could be jeopardized. That’s a sad reality. My two have been using meth for a long time. I don’t know what their state of mind is. I may just be talking myself out of it. Oh boy. Well. I do have time to think and pray on it. Thank you so much Copa. I so appreciate your kindness. It is wonderful to hear from Kalahou. We have been veterans in a battle we never thought we would be in. I wish it wasn’t so, but here we are. Much love to you, and thank you so very much for your thoughts. Leaf [/QUOTE]
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