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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 711503" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Carri</p><p></p><p>I am only now seeing your thread. I was busy preparing to go on a trip back east and now only recently returned.</p><p></p><p>If there is one piece of essential learning that I struggle with it is what you say here: <em>My son has his own higher power, and it took me a long time to figure out, it wasn't me!</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I cannot live my son's life for him, only my own. I cannot decide his priorities, or goals. Only my own. I cannot have it both ways: if he lives in a way that hurts me, I have to either learn to keep better boundaries or mind my own business. Really. Only to do with me, not him.</p><p></p><p>I have found that the heartache and the fear diminish some if I set about putting myself in the center of my own life, and turning my love and support towards myself. I am coming to see this change of focus as loving and respectful to him--regardless of what he may say. It allows him to step up in his own life, in the ways he wants, without me in the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 711503, member: 18958"] Carri I am only now seeing your thread. I was busy preparing to go on a trip back east and now only recently returned. If there is one piece of essential learning that I struggle with it is what you say here: [I]My son has his own higher power, and it took me a long time to figure out, it wasn't me! [/I] I cannot live my son's life for him, only my own. I cannot decide his priorities, or goals. Only my own. I cannot have it both ways: if he lives in a way that hurts me, I have to either learn to keep better boundaries or mind my own business. Really. Only to do with me, not him. I have found that the heartache and the fear diminish some if I set about putting myself in the center of my own life, and turning my love and support towards myself. I am coming to see this change of focus as loving and respectful to him--regardless of what he may say. It allows him to step up in his own life, in the ways he wants, without me in the way. [/QUOTE]
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