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He's 26, Homeless, and We Don't Know How To Help
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 665664" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Camelot,</p><p>I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. You are not alone and have found this forum which is filled with stories just like yours.</p><p>There are many "warrior parents" here who have been where you are and have made it through. There are years and years worth of advice within these pages. Take what will work best for you and let the rest go.</p><p></p><p>My son is 33 and a homeless wonderer. My husband and I have tried so hard in the past to help him get his life on track but our efforts produced nothing of substance. In the end all we were doing was enabling his behavior and he was more than willing to take complete advantage of us.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately there really is not much you can do for your step son. You can research to find help for him in the area is he in; shelters, food pantries, mental health <a href="http://www.nami.org" target="_blank">www.nami.org</a> and you can offer these suggestions to him but if he chooses not to get help there is really nothing more you can do.</p><p></p><p>While your husband may feel compelled to keep giving him money all that will accomplish is enabling your step son to stay stuck where is and in the process draining your savings. My husband and I have spent tens of thousands of dollars "helping/enabling" our son and in the end he chooses to be a homeless drifter.</p><p></p><p>You see Camelot it comes down to choice. Our Difficult Child make their choices and we have to make our choices.</p><p></p><p>I finally had gotten to a point where I had to say enough. I was living my life chasing after my adult son trying to get him to live the way I wanted him to live. I had to come to accept that was never going to happen.</p><p></p><p>None of us want to see our kids end up this way but the only way to move on is to accept that we have no control over how they choose to live their lives.</p><p></p><p>Again, I am so sorry you are dealing with this but please know, you are not alone. We are here to offer support.</p><p></p><p>You may want to consider getting some counseling for you and your husband.</p><p></p><p>Also, there is a good article on how to detach at the top of the Parent Emeritus page. Here is the link. I think you will find some valuable information for you and your husband.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3jkDqK1rS" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3jkDqK1rS</a></p><p></p><p>Please let us know how things are going. We care.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.......................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 665664, member: 18516"] Welcome Camelot, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. You are not alone and have found this forum which is filled with stories just like yours. There are many "warrior parents" here who have been where you are and have made it through. There are years and years worth of advice within these pages. Take what will work best for you and let the rest go. My son is 33 and a homeless wonderer. My husband and I have tried so hard in the past to help him get his life on track but our efforts produced nothing of substance. In the end all we were doing was enabling his behavior and he was more than willing to take complete advantage of us. Unfortunately there really is not much you can do for your step son. You can research to find help for him in the area is he in; shelters, food pantries, mental health [URL="http://www.nami.org"]www.nami.org[/URL] and you can offer these suggestions to him but if he chooses not to get help there is really nothing more you can do. While your husband may feel compelled to keep giving him money all that will accomplish is enabling your step son to stay stuck where is and in the process draining your savings. My husband and I have spent tens of thousands of dollars "helping/enabling" our son and in the end he chooses to be a homeless drifter. You see Camelot it comes down to choice. Our Difficult Child make their choices and we have to make our choices. I finally had gotten to a point where I had to say enough. I was living my life chasing after my adult son trying to get him to live the way I wanted him to live. I had to come to accept that was never going to happen. None of us want to see our kids end up this way but the only way to move on is to accept that we have no control over how they choose to live their lives. Again, I am so sorry you are dealing with this but please know, you are not alone. We are here to offer support. You may want to consider getting some counseling for you and your husband. Also, there is a good article on how to detach at the top of the Parent Emeritus page. Here is the link. I think you will find some valuable information for you and your husband. [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3jkDqK1rS[/URL] Please let us know how things are going. We care. ((HUGS)) to you....................... [/QUOTE]
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He's 26, Homeless, and We Don't Know How To Help
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