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Parent Emeritus
He's 26, Homeless, and We Don't Know How To Help
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665683" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Camelot. Welcome to the forum.</p><p></p><p>My son is 26, too. He has been homeless and he is mentally ill. (He refuses treatment and medication and typically denies that he is impaired. Despite repeated hospitalizations.)</p><p></p><p>Right now he is living with a friend and working in that friend's landscape concrete business, and I am grateful for that.</p><p></p><p>My first recommendation for you is to invite your husband to participate here on the forum. Any change will have to come from him, as the parent.</p><p></p><p>As others have said, your stepson is responsible for getting his own help.</p><p></p><p>Most of us have cut off the money.</p><p></p><p>My son was able to get SSI. He did it himself. Where there is a will, there is a way.</p><p></p><p>When I cut off all help, and said my son could not live with us, he was forced to accept the consequences of his decisions. That was the beginning of real change.</p><p></p><p>For a while he lived in shelters, on the street, and couchsurfing. He was taken advantage by people who preyed on him for his SSI check. Eventually, he saw that the life he chose was not what he wanted and he took steps to try to change it.</p><p></p><p>I now have the confidence of my convictions. No money. No guidance. No intervention by me. Everything he will need to solve or not his in his hands. His choice. End of story.</p><p></p><p>I will never any more feel that he benefits or I benefit from helping him do that which he is fully equipped to do by himself, for himself.</p><p></p><p>There is a wide range of outcomes for mentally ill people which depend upon their own choices and efforts. I will no longer enable my son.</p><p></p><p>I will not do that to him or to myself.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the forum and keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665683, member: 18958"] Hi Camelot. Welcome to the forum. My son is 26, too. He has been homeless and he is mentally ill. (He refuses treatment and medication and typically denies that he is impaired. Despite repeated hospitalizations.) Right now he is living with a friend and working in that friend's landscape concrete business, and I am grateful for that. My first recommendation for you is to invite your husband to participate here on the forum. Any change will have to come from him, as the parent. As others have said, your stepson is responsible for getting his own help. Most of us have cut off the money. My son was able to get SSI. He did it himself. Where there is a will, there is a way. When I cut off all help, and said my son could not live with us, he was forced to accept the consequences of his decisions. That was the beginning of real change. For a while he lived in shelters, on the street, and couchsurfing. He was taken advantage by people who preyed on him for his SSI check. Eventually, he saw that the life he chose was not what he wanted and he took steps to try to change it. I now have the confidence of my convictions. No money. No guidance. No intervention by me. Everything he will need to solve or not his in his hands. His choice. End of story. I will never any more feel that he benefits or I benefit from helping him do that which he is fully equipped to do by himself, for himself. There is a wide range of outcomes for mentally ill people which depend upon their own choices and efforts. I will no longer enable my son. I will not do that to him or to myself. Welcome to the forum and keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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He's 26, Homeless, and We Don't Know How To Help
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