I am not sure why he even bothered coming home for break and I have to remind myself that I can't ruminate on the past. One foot in front of the other. Took down his graduation photo & recent family group shots and changed our alarm code. I don't expect him to be back or to be vindictive - never been his style - but better safe than sorry. I wonder if there will be a hiccup when he realizes his rent is not paid. I imagine he reopened his line of credit and the credit card the moment the payments (I made) cleared. What I fool I was! Between the credit card and his brand new ipad and computer - he will have enough to survive until spring. Both banks stated they couldn't close the accounts until Friday and I think it's no coincidence that he left on Friday. PCs seem ok. I grabbed easy child 14 and ran errands-I was not going to watch difficult child leave. I cashed the CD and stashed the funds in my account where he can't get them. I did my best to explain to PC14 why his brother is gone. Told him the difficult child is blaming me for being "too in his business" and emphasized to easy child that so long as he lives at home, I will want to know where he is going, whom he is with, and when he will be home and I expect him to be in school or working - and so long as he is OK with that; he can live at home forever. PC14 had a tendency to look up to difficult child which scares me a little, in fact - just Wednesday, I let difficult child pick out new receiver gloves for PC14. I will be keeping pc14 close and will be talking to a counselor. There's a fine line between sharing too little and oversharing and I need some guidance. I have a brother who was a difficult child and I wish my parents had been more forthright. H talked to pc17 who reportedly thinks difficult child is a "fool." I think he gets it completely and I am not so worried about the effect it will have on him. He has always purposely been difficult children polar opposite, he's in a good place in his life and recognizes that he has our trust and the extra privileges that go along with it. Privileges that we never extended to difficult child. (his own car, own credit card on our account, and virtually no monitoring of his online or "real" life) We all met for lunch (boys are off school today) and had a decent time. H is taking the boys to a monster truck show tomorrow which should be great fun for them. While they are gone, I am packing up difficult child's room. As far as I am concerned, this is no longer his home. I am not maintaining his bedroom as some sort of untouched shrine. I will eventually rearrange it and add colorful, flowery curtains and bedspread. His stuff -mostly childhood trinkets - will be packed in boxes and stored in the garage attic. (he left little behind-cleaned out his closet - HANGERS too!) difficult child's girlfriend was getting ready to turn into our driveway to pick up difficult child as I was pulling out with easy child. She waved me ahead and I didn't move. I was d@mned if I was going to pull out so she could pull in. So, she kept going down the road, I pulled out behind her and stayed behind her after she pulled out of the neighborhood. No reason, I wasn't chasing her, just enjoying her apparent discomfort. I eventually turned off and it was only then that she must have doubled back. Petty, but I don't care. I just put her and her family on my restricted list for FB. Was so tempted to defriend them all, but didn't want to do something permanent just yet. I still may do it. difficult child doesn't have a FB page and she was my only window to him. I need to think about it before I do it. GUESS WHAT? I am rambling AGAIN. LOL. Thanks for reading and for your support and warm words these past few days. I suspect I will be leaning heavily on you all once the reality hits.