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He's living in the basement
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 646882" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Well, by his own admission, he is able to handle the basement now. Have you mentioned to him that devolving to the basement is not a good sign for moving in to more independent living, that there are clearly hygiene rules and that laundry and showering are part of the plan to be able to graduate from where he is? His actions are what is holding him there, is he aware of that? Is he able to process that and take any responsibility for it?</p><p></p><p>Have you spoken to his case worker about the supplements and the frozen food?</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me as if this is a pretty long process which is just going to take time which may in fact be good for him. You on the other hand are dragged around by his constant wishes to move. My suggestion is that each and every time he rolls this all out for you to listen to, you devise a strategy to do something for YOU........a balance for his new drama. Since there isn't going to be anything you can actually do, while this appears to stay in the process its already in........then when he brings it up, listen, say nothing, master the art of not engaging........and then, going along with your plan, take yourself directly to the SPA, or dinner with friends, or a day drive to the city, or a manicure, or a walk in the woods..............whatever makes you feel good. Whatever will allow you to let go and have fun and enjoy yourself. Like a formula. He contacts you for his new list of requests you can't meet........you go directly for a massage. Balance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 646882, member: 13542"] Well, by his own admission, he is able to handle the basement now. Have you mentioned to him that devolving to the basement is not a good sign for moving in to more independent living, that there are clearly hygiene rules and that laundry and showering are part of the plan to be able to graduate from where he is? His actions are what is holding him there, is he aware of that? Is he able to process that and take any responsibility for it? Have you spoken to his case worker about the supplements and the frozen food? It sounds to me as if this is a pretty long process which is just going to take time which may in fact be good for him. You on the other hand are dragged around by his constant wishes to move. My suggestion is that each and every time he rolls this all out for you to listen to, you devise a strategy to do something for YOU........a balance for his new drama. Since there isn't going to be anything you can actually do, while this appears to stay in the process its already in........then when he brings it up, listen, say nothing, master the art of not engaging........and then, going along with your plan, take yourself directly to the SPA, or dinner with friends, or a day drive to the city, or a manicure, or a walk in the woods..............whatever makes you feel good. Whatever will allow you to let go and have fun and enjoy yourself. Like a formula. He contacts you for his new list of requests you can't meet........you go directly for a massage. Balance. [/QUOTE]
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He's living in the basement
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