Difficult Child insisted all along that he wasn't going to the wedding. I ignored him because he always says he hates flying. This time, he ramped it up again and again. Plus, he's got a horrid cold. Plus he has a job interview Friday. Plus, his ex girlfriend is having an ultrasound every week to check on the baby, because she's isn't growing (the heart is still beating) and she could go into early labor or have a c-section if things get worse, and he thinks he should stay. Ex girlfriend never said yay or nay in regard to his staying, and now she decided she wants him there. I hope it doesn't happen while we're gone because I really want a paternity test the instant the baby is born. He's freaking out the closer it gets to the delivery and he's losing his footing in regard to his own adoption. He let loose bigtime today, screaming, swearing, F-this and -that, and then never knew if his bmom really wanted to get rid of him or if she ever loved him. Never felt a part of our family or extended family. I knew that, but it was mostly his withdrawal in groups. We've told him that he's got to meet us halfway. Anger, meanness, tears. He pulled out a huge kitchen steak knife and held it to his wrist because he said that his life is such a mess, he wanted to kill himself. I didn't believe he would do it, but I was prepared to tie a tourniquet and call 911. Half of me wanted him to do it, because then I'd know he was relatively safe in the hospital while we were out of town. How's that for warped thinking? He chickened out. I decided to call his bluff on the emotional issues and told him that he could only stay home under the condition that he call his bio mom and set up an appointment to meet, face-to-face, this week. He did it. They are supposed to meet Friday. I will text her to make sure that she follows through. Bout time he gives her some of the [email protected] he's been giving me. I also gave him a NAMI brochure and told him to sign up for the peer-to-peer group. I'll print out a couple of groups and dates for him. I gave him a clonidine and he said he already took one before the first job interview in the a.m. I told him to take the second one. He took it. He's supposed to have a follow-up job interview Friday as well, to sell mattresses or something in the mall. Bo-ring! But at least they are interested in a 2nd interview. I dropped off his old 24" road bicycle the other and today put money down for a 26" in a different style. All of the bikes in this place are used and half built, so I have to wait for it to be assembled. Total price: $100 (including trade-in). Much less expensive than a car! Most of his friends have bikes so it's about time he joined in. And he can get to work that way. And school. I hired a professional pet sitter to come by the house 3X a day while we're gone . She has a key. Difficult Child can't find his key. I told him that he'd better find it or he will be locked out. After the mess we came home to last time, I am not trusting him to take care of the dogs and cats, or to clean up or get the newspaper. (And last time, he said, "Oh, I would have done it if I'd known I was getting paid.' Uh-huh.) I'm leaving in the a.m. and I'm going to have a good time. I am sick of this drama.