Hi all

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jvbs, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. jvbs

    jvbs Guest

    I'm jumping in with both feet, well, because that just seems to be the only way to do things lately.

    I'm Beth, 50. I live with my hubby, John, 51, and my kidlette (granddaughter we are raising), Alexandria, 13. Right now my daughter, Shelly, 31, and her two kids, Carl 10, and the difficult child Railyn, 6, are living here (ok, I didn't jump in with both feet, I did read a little first).

    My daughter is working full time at one job and part time at another, so I seem to be the chief cook and bottle washer around these parts.

    Railyn has not been diagnosis'd with anything yet. The psychiatric. is thinking bipolar, but not sure yet. She has meltdowns for no reason. Sometimes she can go an entire afternoon with no problems, other times if you look at her cross-eyed, she becomes violent, screaming, kicking, biting, head-butting, pinching. We've been wrapping her in a blanket as much as we can when we have to restrain her. Right now her mother has 10 or so bitemarks up and down both arms, we're all black and blue, and no one has had a good night's sleep in weeks.

    I'm not new to all this. I have 3 adult kids. The oldest is Mom. The other two are both difficult child's. My son (30) is Aspie with ODD and ADHD, and my youngest daughter (29) is Borderline (BPD) and Bipolar. I have to say, though, that Railyn has been more challenging than I remember my two being. I'm looking forward to brainstorming and learning here.

  2. comatheart

    comatheart Guest

    Welcome Beth! I'm new here too but just wanted to say hi and I'm sorry you have to be here. ((hugs))
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome. Sorry you need us, but glad we can help.

    A couple of things - first, don't use your real names. The time may come when you need to vent about someone (a doctor, a teacher, a relative, a friend, a neighbour) and you need to know your identity is safe or you will feel you can't be as open as you need to be.

    Next - where you have one Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (Asperger's, autism) kid in the family, chances of another one are a lot higher. And it is very easy, especially when they re younger, to confuse Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and bipolar. It is possible to have both, but with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) you get mood swings simply because it's a ghastly condition to have to grow up with, you can't understand yourself, other people and the world the way other kids can. So naturally the kid will rage out of frustration. You mightn't understand the reason, but there always is one that makes sense to the child.

    Meltdowns never happen for no reason. It's just that sometimes we parents can't see a reason that makes sense to us. But it always makes sense to the child.

    If by chance it is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in this little one, you may be making things worse by wrapping her up. Yes, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) people often enjoy being held, but only if they can be in control of it. Weighted vests can work well, and if she can learn to take herself to her room or somewhere quiet and safe in order to regain control, that is several steps higher in terms of coping, than having to rely on someone wrestling her like Steve Irwin on a croc.

    A book we recommend is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Go to the Early Childhood forum and look at the sticky there, for a preview of how this book works. We found it made our life a lot easier.